Miscellaneous Welcome! - FML

Welcome!

Anonymous - 24/04/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Parking lot chaos

Clumsy - 03/10/2025 03:00

Today, a bag of grapes fell out of my shopping cart in the parking lot. I bent down to grab them, only for the bag to burst open. I ended up chasing runaway grapes across the tarmac, but it's only when a car of strangers started cheering me on that I took the L, gave up the fight, and went back to buy more, but the remaining stock was moldy and shit. FML

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Keep quiet

Anonymous - 26/08/2013 23:12 - United States - Hollywood

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

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workworkwork - 03/11/2017 05:00

Today, at the winery, my boss proudly made a spectacle of the new, high quality bottles. After over a year of employment without breaking a bottle, I shattered three before lunch. FML

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Wine buffs

ThatWineGuy - 23/12/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, some friends and I had a wine tasting evening, and I tried to impress my friends by showing off my extensive knowledge of different wines. I confidently described the subtle "notes of vanilla and oak" in a bottle of wine… only to find out that my "friends" had pranked me, and it was actually grape juice. FML

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In vino veritas

Buzz - 29/11/2008 16:11 - France

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, saying somewhat annoyed, "Don't drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

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They're all yours

anonymous - - United States

Today, I was having a garage sale and my mother-in-law came by to see what I was selling. She decided to buy these ugly green wine glasses that were still unopened. It turns out that she gave those to my wife and me when we got married. FML

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Alcohol isn't a drug, it's a drink

Anonymous - 08/05/2022 10:00

Today, I was carded for trying to buy wine and was told the dates were faded, so they wouldn’t be selling it to me, since they suspected I was underage. I work at the vineyard that produces the wine, I’m the head vintner, and I made the wine in the bottle I wasn’t allowed to buy. FML

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Face fucking palm - 23/07/2014 03:36 - United States - Albany

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

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Are you winning?

Anonymous - 07/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I bought grapes. Just grapes. At the checkout, the total was $14. I laughed. The cashier didn’t. Now I'll be eating one grape a day like it's caviar. FML

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First impressions

medik - 23/02/2010 12:51 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

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Crusader0102 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 12:07

Who wouldn't want free rapes?

sniperkit 10

Sunday 24 April 2011 12:09

rape is not funny. this story is, however.

tlynn78 1

Sunday 24 April 2011 12:20

Sign fail.

chanma 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 12:29

yummy 

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 24 April 2011 12:38

I'M GONNA TIE YOU TO THE RADIATOR. AND GRAPE YOU.

docscientist 9

Sunday 24 April 2011 12:53

Love that show.

leeshxx 3

Sunday 24 April 2011 14:21

I want your lightsaber!

Zeek63 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 16:26

with a grapestick

TheNewGuy03 28

Sunday 24 April 2011 20:06

oh, color me purple, i'm surprised! :O |the kid|

Salcedo18 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 12:47

wow lol haha that's funny

minniemouse61 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 16:03

rite smart one

kyanisaurus 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 13:08

so did you pop anyone's grapes?

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 24 April 2011 13:09

Call me silly but I would think it would be best for people to sample the "wine" instead.

wisericky 12

Sunday 24 April 2011 13:20

Got any grapes?

leeshxx 3

Sunday 24 April 2011 14:22

sorry Ricky just rapes today, maybe tomorrow

wisericky 12

Sunday 24 April 2011 15:51

ill pass... Bum bum bum bum *the next day* Got any grapes? :P

figureskates2344 6

Sunday 24 April 2011 13:31

I'm sure you still got those few customers who showed up and were really confused when you started talking about wine though

Cheergal910 15

Sunday 24 April 2011 15:12

Haha, exactly what I was thinking!

abcd4242 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 19:04

you live in Canada?! that's freaking awesome :D

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 24 April 2011 13:36

What's really going to screw you up later is if you found out you got an increase in business because of the sign.

monkeyman8 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 13:43

that's a fake FML. I saw that somewhere before. LIAR!

leeshxx 3

Sunday 24 April 2011 13:50

you should probably read the terms of use before the mod gods ban your ass

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML

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Today, one of my customers told me he was going to kill himself when I explained to him that I wasn't going to be able to deliver him the gallon of milk he wanted. I work in a pharmacy, dispensing medication. FML

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Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend leaving a store. She used to ridicule me for not making much money, but I now have a good job and a BMW. Trying to show off, I cranked up the music and drove by. She looked up right as I hit a car backing out of its parking space. FML

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Today, I found out the best man at my wedding was banging my wife after years of being married. My best man was my brother. FML

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Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is currently dating a girl who lives in Korea. We broke up because I was moving to a different part of the city for college and he thought the distance would be "too much." FML

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Today, before having morning sex, my girlfriend for over a year whispered to me, "Do that thing you did at the Halloween party." There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then and didn't go with her to the party. FML

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