Work, Relatable Awkward Welcome back

Welcome back

pixie_pix13 -

Today, I came back to work after being out for a week. As I walked to the back of the store, I threw my hands up and yelled, "I'm back bitches". Right after I said it, I noticed my boss was behind me. I was then taken to the office and wrote up for foul language on my first day back. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Paranoid

MaddyN - - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

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Running late

SMV - - France

Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

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Meritocracy

blue - - United States

Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you'll be labeled as someone with a short temper. However, the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML

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Early warning

Hreyes - - United States

Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

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So that's a no, right?

SadMan - - United States

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. Turns out they are firing 35 people. I wasn't on the list until I asked for a raise. FML

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aaannnddd there goes my boner - 28/11/2013 22:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

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This is mine now

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML

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I'm not paid enough for this

Doublescrewed -

Today, I showed up for my first shift in my new night job; I now work at an apartment complex during the day and at a gas station at night. It turns out that our biggest problem tenant in the former happens to be my boss in the latter. FML

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Panic in the streets

Insane Guy - - United States

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

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Bad hair day

Tony -

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

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123Puppy 33

Saturday 7 December 2019 4:05

You’re stupid.

Nimesh Priyodit 11

Saturday 7 December 2019 5:40

In office, you should be professional. How difficult is it to grasp?

Alup132 22

Friday 13 December 2019 8:00

I don’t cuss, but that’s what I love about my job. You can basically say whatever. Two dudes once asked two managers (one was the GM) if they’d hypothetically let them give them a prostate exam with the dish glove. Our new GM (and some other new managers) talk about weed all the time. One dude (who hasn’t worked here in like a year and a half, used to go around saying really disturbing stuff as a joke, but I won’t repeat that here. Best work environment I’ve ever seen.