Transportation, Accident Injury Watch where you're going

Watch where you're going

Marriage at it's finest.. - 22/05/2021 13:59

Today, I was riding my scooter and humming a tune while doing so. It happened to be the tune you hear at weddings. I got married to the garage door. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

I'm happy for you, but…

Love stinks - 19/08/2013 13:06 - United States

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

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This is our song

Anonymous - 08/02/2023 22:00

Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML

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The Voice

Barney - 22/06/2025 22:00 - Canada - Thunder Bay

Today, I was alone in the kitchen doing the dishes, and I started singing along to my favorite song when it came on my playlist. However, unbeknownst to me, my neighbors were having a barbecue next door, and they cheered and applauded when I'd finished. I’m never singing again. FML

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Wee woo wee woo

joshualover - 23/09/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML

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jelrid - 13/07/2016 04:38 - United States - Holt

Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML

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Anonymous - 01/02/2012 01:11 - United States

Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

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Unreasonable demands

No respect - 12/07/2023 15:00

Today, I left messages in every neighbors' mailbox telling them to please be quiet at 2, as my daughter was getting married in my backyard. At 2:01 someone started practicing the drums in their garage. FML

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He bangs the drums

PhilDavisDied? - - France

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

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Anonymous - 10/03/2012 14:20 - United States

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

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Bad omen or what?

Chipper - 09/06/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turned to me and screamed at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off." FML

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ojoRojo 27

Saturday 22 May 2021 14:21

That’s not how it works...

Sumus125 17

Saturday 22 May 2021 18:20

I'm assuming that kissing your new life partner translated to a sudden impact with it?

ojoRojo 27

Saturday 22 May 2021 14:21

That’s not how it works...

cuz803 44

Saturday 22 May 2021 14:44

If you can can find love and happiness with your garage through marriage, I wish you a happy marriage, OP. Love is love.

Sumus125 17

Saturday 22 May 2021 18:20

I'm assuming that kissing your new life partner translated to a sudden impact with it?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 22 May 2021 19:56

Any faster and your family would have been humming the funeral dirge. As it is, they're probably still laughing at you.

thatswhatshesaid 3

Saturday 22 May 2021 21:46

This fml and the comments gave me a good laugh 🤣

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I hurt my back at work due to faulty, outdated, and just crap equipment. Workers’ comp offered me two Tylenols and a pamphlet about "mindfulness over medical bills." FML

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Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

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Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

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Today, I called complaints for my internet provider because, again, it's slowed to a crawl that would make dial-up laugh. They said that I live in a remote area, so maintenance is difficult. When I pointed out I only live ten minutes from the nearest city, they responded by saying they're my only option, so tough. FML

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Today, my girlfriend is mad I won’t indulge her “Sleeping Beauty” fantasy. She doesn’t want me to just kiss her, she wants me to full on fuck her. Call me crazy but I just can’t get it up for a passed out person. Yes it’s consensual, but it just feels uncomfortable. She doesn’t get why I’m not into it. FML

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Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them. I made them chocolate-covered strawberries. But for some reason they gave me really dirty looks when they saw it. Turns out his mother is allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate. FML

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