Wanker

Why son, why? - 20/03/2013 11:07 - United States

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML
49 766
6 816
Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

marcelmg 10

What did he say when you called him? I'm coming?

289 3
goose12321 11

Well you know what they say, getting up (and ready for school) is the second hardest thing in the morning.

209 3

upallnight11 19

That would be awkward, but if there isn't any choice. No, still no good idea.

20 1
PenguinBitch 43

But not all parents are as awesome as yours Noor. And if OP does let him, then this is when leather seats become a huge win.

4 7
ComoEsJuan 24

#26, if the luxury of leather seats is unavailable, an empty can of Dr. Perky works just as well!

1 3
perdix 29

Back in my day, whacking off was part of getting ready for school, especially when I had that hot algebra teacher in first period. The monkey-spanking kinda took the edge off ;)

12 10
KingDead 18

Hahah, that's healthy. Don't forget to teach him about Jill.

3 7
Dadvocate 5

Lol. But wackin off is cheaper. U know what they say; Jack and Jill went up the hill both with $1.25 Jill came down with $2.50.

5 2
KingDead 18

Do you not know about JILL?! Your left hand my friend! Your right hand sidekick!

2 4
Enslaved 36

33 don't forget-- "That ******* *****!" Love the Dice Man!(:

1 1
Dadvocate 5

37- oh lol my mistake 78- lmao. I didn't write that thinking no one wud know it. Glad u added it.

1 1
shorty6823 28

Sounds like my dads girlfriends son. He takes 45 minute showers because it's "relaxing".

13 1
dogpup4 23

He might not be lying. I spend a long time in the shower but I don't wank in there, I just stand there daydreaming because the hot water's nice.

27 0
ApacheC424 18

Agreed with 32. A long shower is relaxing, and a great time to self-reflect, or daydream. Besides shower and a wank doesn't take 45 minutes.

11 1
KingDead 18

Don't lie! You've done it once or twice.. Perhaps whilst having a cold beer... Or is that just me...

8 4
ApacheC424 18

38, it may just be you. But the idea isn't so bad........excuse me while I take a shower.

9 1
gracehi 31

I do that too, 32. Sometimes, I even fall asleep in the shower.

3 3
PrincessPesa 20

Nothing like a showeer (shower beer) to brighten up your day! Cold beer+ hot shower= delicious!

2 6
shorty6823 28

He's 12, and at the point where he is first starting to enjoy his manhood.

2 5
Enslaved 36

Come on! Don't be so hard on him. Just wake him up three minutes earlier. :P

11 1
olpally 32

Is your son Chris griffin???? Lol.

7 3
skyeyez9 24

Wake the little bastard 30 mins earlier so he can fap and not make you late for work. Or make him walk.

5 0