Dad jokes Love Very funny, Dad

Very funny, Dad

Anonymous - 20/05/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

45 690

4 635

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Awkward much?

iskalion - 10/10/2015 05:39 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

26 470

5 463

bloom - 17/12/2008 04:10 - France

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

38 235

2 420

Good one

bf. - 19/12/2013 02:59 - Canada - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

43 244

3 004

jack - 23/04/2012 02:43 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out why my girlfriend comes over for dinner so often. She thinks my dad is a real babe. FML

30 015

2 314

BadLuckCarson - 12/02/2013 05:55 - United States - Muscatine

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

32 812

3 739

Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

12 306

33 352

Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

5 168

1 466

Anonymous - 13/06/2014 09:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

51 791

6 155

Creepy but funny

Anonymous - 01/06/2012 20:46 - Greece - Athens

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

36 880

3 112

Thanks, Dad

not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

36 495

2 618

dreamering 16

Saturday 21 May 2011 5:53

Tell him: "she blows ... me"

jennifer93 0

Saturday 21 May 2011 5:53

wow fy gf's life...what an awkward meeting the parents dinner...

boredteenager 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 8:19

lol

carlablob 0

Friday 17 June 2011 9:54

I love your father. lmao.

strawberryspacejam 11

Monday 4 July 2011 17:44

and ur dad was too stupid to see her moving?

SecretlyEvil9792 22

Friday 12 August 2011 21:28

lol FYL.

olivercooper 6

Saturday 1 October 2011 1:56

Shit man

Ugi 26

Thursday 20 September 2012 13:02

He does sound it, doesn't he! But he's the OP's dad so there's not much that can be done.

Kiirst_mt1994 26

Wednesday 19 October 2011 2:41

imagine how awkward she must of felt, just sat there being prodded! Lmao

Truckie600 2

Monday 19 December 2011 14:14

Hope your gf has a sense of humor

Coffeebang 17

Tuesday 7 February 2012 12:39

LOOOOL

AmandaIsMyName 0

Tuesday 6 March 2012 8:58

She must have been awkward. Or a paraplegic...

LemonLolly 10

Monday 19 March 2012 2:04

How rude. If I were her, i'd be like "Where the hell do you get the impression i'm a blow up doll???"

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

43 058

3 710

Today, I was watching 24 and realized that Jack Bauer had gotten more action in 5 hours than I had in 5 months. FML

31 488

6 847

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

54 978

5 204

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

28 863

6 755

Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML

45 777

16 178

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

26 679

86 047