Animals, Sex, Awkward Intimacy Ummmm… OK?

Ummmm… OK?

Lionman - 05/04/2012 05:11 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

mc_dreamy - 21/08/2010 16:49 - United States

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

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Anonymous - 16/01/2010 00:57 - Australia

Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML

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CREEPY!

Anonymous - 21/10/2025 22:00

Today, my father-in-law confessed during dinner that he watched me and my wife have sex that morning through the window. He even more awkwardly brought it back up later that evening to say I seemed very good at it, and tried asking for details about me and my wife’s sex life. FML

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Twins

rufusthepenis - 02/10/2011 22:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML

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Humblebrag

Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

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CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

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grizzlybear - 27/06/2011 05:55 - Mexico

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

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What a dick

Anonymous - 03/11/2011 07:29 - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

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sunboy52 - 05/05/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

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Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

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mduffy08 8

Thursday 5 April 2012 14:26

It really can't get any more awkward.

sillydumpling 0

Thursday 5 April 2012 14:31

Give him a lengthy description about the mating patterns between you and his daughter

muffinXmonster 12

Thursday 5 April 2012 14:36

Oh the conversations that take place between a man and his girlfriends father

brendazelada 10

Thursday 5 April 2012 14:40

At least your bonding lmao awkwardly

BtheBeast94 7

Thursday 5 April 2012 18:02

I guess you could put it that way

JediScum 1

Thursday 5 April 2012 20:36

I love women who cut off the top of their head to fit their boobs in the picture. Yes, you have boobs. So do half the people on this planet. Congrats.

bunniex1 11

Thursday 5 April 2012 21:03

I don't have boobs yet :( -crys in a corner-

MigraineurOfLife 15

Thursday 5 April 2012 14:41

Bizarre!

DuffleBagHero 4

Thursday 5 April 2012 14:43

I don't understand how that's an FML moment... But ok. I think it's great that he's actually sharing things with you because would you rather him be controlling and willing to shoot you at any point in which you hurt his daughter?