Weird Work Toxic workplace goals!

Toxic workplace goals!

Anonymous - 22/04/2013 23:37 - Australia - Mona Vale

Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Jobless - 07/09/2010 23:27 - Canada

Today, I had a job interview. The moment I walked into the room, the interviewer said, "OK, I will interview you, but there is no way I'm hiring you." FML

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Am I hired?

KLM - 14/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I had a job interview. As I walked in, I confidently shook the interviewer's hand, only to say, "I'm doing well, how are you?" before she'd even asked me how I was, or even said anything. The rest of the interview was pretty much a blur of awkwardness. FML

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Hard no

unemployable - - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

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Nervous Nelly

Anonyme - 15/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to a job interview and, trying to sound confident, I shook the interviewer’s hand and said, "Nice to meet me." I didn’t get the job. FML

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Honest

Anonymous - 04/09/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I had a job interview that I really wanted to nail. Everything was great until the interviewer asked me why I left my last job. I meant to say, "I felt it was time for a new challenge," but instead I said, "I felt tired of pretending to care." The look on their face was priceless. Needless to say, but I don't think I'll get the job. FML

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Waste of time

wasteoftime - 07/06/2017 20:00

Today, I went to a job interview. I never applied for the job, they'd sought me out, had a phone interview, and sent samples, all before the face-to-face interview. Turns out none of the people I met with had even read my resume or writing samples. I was told I might not be a good fit. FML

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Lyingg - 05/10/2011 20:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML

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Wait here

ignored - 28/09/2019 00:01 - Canada

Today, I showed up on time for a job interview. After waiting for about three hours, I was informed that the manager had "better things to do" than interview me. FML

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Anonymous - 18/01/2015 21:29 - United States - Augusta

Today, I went to a job interview. It was my last shot of getting a job before my savings run dry. It all went well until I was asked why I wanted to join the company. I got flustered and stuttered, "Because I um, I like money?" The guy gave me the most insincere "We'll be in touch." ever. FML

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smellslikeahangover - 29/07/2015 02:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML

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plum_lovin 28

Tuesday 23 April 2013 9:12

I would have gone back and slapped him across the face and said we aren't friends and that I want the damn job.

Mopmob02 18

Tuesday 23 April 2013 9:16

Oh gosh,this goes up there with "you're too experienced."

perdix 29

Tuesday 23 April 2013 9:53

Ask him if he'll be a reference for you as you apply elsewhere. A good buddy will lie through his teeth for you when other prospective bosses call.

perdix 29

Tuesday 23 April 2013 10:18

#9, you mean "asocial." Antisocial douches are criminals who actively seek to disrupt ordinary society, but asocial douches correct people's grammar and usage mistakes in front of everyone. I'll require 4 weeks paid vacation and unfiltered Internet access. I'll start Monday, no wait, a week from Wednesday.

GrinchFu1 27

Tuesday 23 April 2013 10:21

m/ Bromance m/

upallnight11 19

Tuesday 23 April 2013 10:28

Well, he's got a point.

harrieslinger 17

Tuesday 23 April 2013 11:18

cockslap that punk

melons 44

Tuesday 23 April 2013 11:46

I feel for you. I had a call last week after a seemingly positive interview for a job I really wanted, informing me that I wouldn't get a second interview as 'I didn't seem to want the job'. I'm not sure how they deduced this.

thatnucca 36

Tuesday 23 April 2013 13:34

I was told two weeks ago that "I oversold myself"... I guess being confident about what you do could potentially prevent you from getting one these days.... Lol

thejimler 9

Tuesday 23 April 2013 12:16

This is dumb sounding, but the best way to find out you didn't get the job is to be told that they picked the best candidate. Equally infuriating as this FML is when they try to say it as though they are doing you a favour by not choosing you.