Love: Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked... - FML

By murphy - 02/02/2009 10:49 - United States

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 414

You deserved it 4 130

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 452

You deserved it 15 020

By YOURMOM - 31/12/2011 07:24 - United States

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 047

You deserved it 6 001

Red or grey?

By Cherry - 11/02/2023 02:00

Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 357

Forever alone

By forever alone - 27/03/2022 16:00

Today, I realized I’m so lonely that I actually got jealous while watching Shrek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 176

By karmavictim - 18/03/2011 11:28

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 092

You deserved it 10 933

Cute

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 478

You deserved it 15 513

By susiedoggles - 05/11/2018 08:00 - United States - Milford

Today, getting home after a long day of work, my boyfriend came running out of the house. Being silly, I thought he was excited to see me. Nope - he was excited to show me the squirrel he shot. In the house. Apparently, we have house squirrels and a boatload of holes in the floor and couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 012

You deserved it 308

Forever the bridesmaid

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 14:02

Today, after watching my roommate and her boyfriend be all lovey dovey for months, I now have to watch two of our other friends flirting as well. I'm painfully single and have been struggling to change that for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 216

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 681

You deserved it 5 350

By psh_idontbite - 13/03/2015 03:55 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 3 555

Next

Top comments

easrc 5

Sunday 1 March 2009 19:28

I know exactly how you feel...

k99 5

Friday 26 August 2011 20:21

He said "engaging in mating rituals" because it really sounds better than"two squirrels *******:". And nothing is wrong with his'big words', there actual words that real people use and stupid people hate people who know these words because it makes them feel insecure. I'm sorry dude, a smart guy like you should be able to find a girl soon except for the fact they all want an idiot like #28

Comments

Maniac_fml 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 6:34

that is wrong

easrc 5

Sunday 1 March 2009 19:28

I know exactly how you feel...

Doesuff 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 2:33

You should've joined in.. maybe that would keep you from being jealous.

XtraXtra00Table 6

Sunday 29 July 2012 6:09

BAHAHAHAHA

XtraXtra00Table 6

Sunday 29 July 2012 6:10

BAHAHAHAHA

CDub7888 0

Monday 16 March 2009 5:08

Yep. That'd add up to a bad day. And for those of you pushing **********, you are sick. With a capital S, I, C, K.

Ange_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:32

Hahhahahha. Poor you xD

spacey 0

Friday 27 March 2009 22:28

this isnt post secret.

tdawgheath 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 5:47

Indeed, I find it profound that the creatures of the timberland sciurus carolinenis will oft fornicate in public.

24788 6

Wednesday 29 April 2009 22:11

lol, squirrels need loving to! Not by you though.

cj22302 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 0:36

#4, love that.

ziqi92 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 1:35

how old r u? all i'm saying is that ur probably thinking "so close yet so far" is that right?

Keywords

Awkward Parents Relatable Work Job interview Social Media Jealousy Love Facebook Relationship advice Friends Kids AITA Annoying Roommate Shoes Names Music Customers Education Capitalism Money Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Allergies Dogs Embarrassing

The Top

Today, I'd thought I was somewhat friends with a girl, the only person I actually talked to outside of school, but after overhearing a discussion I think she may actually have restricted me on Instagram, because I've "always pissed me off anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 91

Today, I came out of the bathroom and caught my husband peeing against a tree in the backyard. I told him how disgusting that was. He said, "Fine. Back to peeing in the sink." FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 427

The Top

Today, my date left the restaurant because I didn’t agree with his opinions about the mentally disabled or mixed race couples, etc. Basically, a real scumbag. He also left me the bill, and it turned out he had all the most expensive menu items, including a £120 bottle of wine. It cost over £300 total. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 336

You deserved it 348

Today, I woke up with a dry cough, which is a red flag for COVID. I took a home test, came up positive; went to a doctor, same result. I get home, mask up, and tell my roommates to test. I'm still in the process of telling the family I can't make it for Thanksgiving when my roomies test positive, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 175

Today, I thought I'd spice things up by kissing my husband on the lips and then working my way down. But about halfway, I got some of his chest hairs lodged in my throat and started gagging. To avoid ruining the mood, I kept going, silently gagging, until we finished. I swallowed the hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 998

You deserved it 5 367

Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 117

You deserved it 4 707

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 885

You deserved it 5 533

Today, I paid my best friend to not tell my girlfriend about having hooked up with another girl while drunk the other night. He told her anyway. Now I have no girlfriend and I’m $500 poorer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 3 140