Today, some asshat thought it would be funny to put a second...

Anonymous - 25/08/2019 02:02

Today, some asshat thought it would be funny to put a second lock on my locker. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

cl512 - 18/09/2009 13:33 - United States

Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML

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Help!

stinkyhair - - United States

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

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killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

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WhatTheF - 11/07/2016 05:42

Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML

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Public spectacle

Veronica - 22/10/2025 15:00

Today, I got locked in a restroom because the doorknob jammed. I had to text my coworker to come and rescue me. He brought half the office with him because, “It was too funny not to see.” FML

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joser6969 - 29/10/2011 14:07 - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

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College life

rimenrezon - - United States - Tampa

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

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Fix that lock

embarrassed - 10/11/2022 12:00

Today, I went to the bathroom. I locked the stall door, but got walked in on anyway. This is the eighth time this has happened this week, and multiple people think I’m just too stupid to lock the door. FML

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Anonymous - 23/12/2016 09:19

Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML

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The Last One - 11/03/2012 06:39 - Canada

Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Sunday 25 August 2019 2:37

It is funny! That’s old school ransom-ware. How much does the “asshat” want to unlock their lock?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 25 August 2019 2:37

It is funny! That’s old school ransom-ware. How much does the “asshat” want to unlock their lock?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, the elevator in my apartment building broke down. I live on the 30th floor and am still climbing the stairs. FML

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Today, my mom was more upset about my 67 on an Algebra test than my sister almost setting the house on fire. FML

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Today, when I wasn’t looking, my brother added 50 kilos to my barbell at the gym, which I obviously dropped right on my neck. I’m not sure what it’s called but the doc says I broke my Adam’s apple and that I'm lucky to be alive, since it could have broken my neck. FML

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Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML

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Today, I found out my that my girlfriend's parents hate me, all because they saw me laughing and hanging out with another girl. That other girl was my sister. FML

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Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

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