By Anonymous - 26/11/2018 16:00 - United States - Floral Park
Today, my self-described "genius" cousin came to the conclusion that cooking the turkey in the oven for 8 hours would take too long, so he doubled the temperature to have it done in half the time. The fire department had to come to put out the fireball that was once my butterball. FML
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By  Deez_Knots  |  10

What a dummy. It could’ve been worse. You could’ve let him try and fry it.

By  RichardPencil  |  27

What a dumbass! Doubling the temperature on a relative scale (like Fahrenheit or Celsius) only increases the temperature by about 40% on an absolute scale (Kelvin, Rankine)

The temperatures recommended by experts are based on the combined convection/conduction problem to give optimal results. Still, 8 hours sounds too long.

By  Deez_Knots  |  10

What a dummy. It could’ve been worse. You could’ve let him try and fry it.

By  RichardPencil  |  27

What a dumbass! Doubling the temperature on a relative scale (like Fahrenheit or Celsius) only increases the temperature by about 40% on an absolute scale (Kelvin, Rankine)

The temperatures recommended by experts are based on the combined convection/conduction problem to give optimal results. Still, 8 hours sounds too long.

PenguinPal3017  |  18

Yeah, doubling a number with an arbitrary zero doesn't make sense. The entire plan didn't make sense, but that part in particular is devoid of science.

008GGG  |  13

It would take 8 hours for a 24 lb turkey. That’s a big turkey. But they’re out there.

Have you ever tried cooking a big Turducken? We went exactly by the instructions for its size, cooked it all day, and STILL ended up having dessert first while waiting for the internal temp to rise enough.

A turducken is THREE birds!

Let's not even get into the intricacies of the inter-bird thermal contact resistances!

By  Glowworm56  |  25

Does he also think he can roast marshmallows by simply tossing the entire bag into the oven as well?

By  EmDizzle2007  |  26

is your cousin Ryder??

By  melisssa87  |  30

I don’t trust self-described geniuses

What about documented geniuses?

melisssa87  |  30

Those I trust even my mom with

By  LilianHeart  |  6

Could've been done in 15 minutes in the microwave.

No. Sorry.

By  OnReceivingEnd  |  12

"Way to go, GENIUS. What are you going to do for your next trick, prove the world is flat?"

By  Paul B. Gyurcsanszky  |  14

Your cousin must buy a lot of ACME products. Has he caught that Road Runner yet?

By  Mikaela Hiatt  |  4

Do you guys normally celebrate thanksgiving 4 days late...?