Miscellaneous Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get...

GonnaLockUpMySpices - 30/10/2015 01:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
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KindaLooksLikeCocaine - 23/09/2015 23:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

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funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

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Confused

Nathanael Johnson -

Today, my roommate came home from work and yelled at me for my dinner being too spicy. The same dinner he denied stealing. FML

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holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

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Good tasting

Anonymous - 15/12/2019 03:00 - Canada - Saint-hubert

Today, my roommate left those powdered donuts in the kitchen. Hungry, I decided to try one. Turns out, the white powder wasn't sugar. It was cocaine. FML

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'Ello 'ello 'ello

wreckdit - - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML

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mario - 02/03/2019 19:00 - United States - Corvallis

Today, my roommate ran out of filter tips so he cut up my chemistry note cards for his joints. FML

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Anonymous - 18/01/2014 03:48 - United States

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

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Annomymous - 23/01/2015 18:12 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

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Gotcha good

Anonymous - 08/05/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML

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gunzerker 8

Friday 30 October 2015 12:09

your spice cabinet is locked?

zombiekiller52 24

Friday 30 October 2015 12:09

Was he high when he did this?

xyuukinekox 15

Saturday 31 October 2015 5:17

I'm surprised by the amount of people who have no idea that getting high off spice is a thing now. Apparently no one watches the news anymore.

phreaker913 21

Saturday 31 October 2015 5:34

thats a thing?

samlovesham1234 9

Saturday 31 October 2015 6:24

What the ****? Wouldn't that cause a fit of sneezing? I've heard of a synthetic illegal drug called Spice but this is ridiculous.

miriamfrank 22

Saturday 31 October 2015 8:34

How many times has he done this if you have to lock the spice cabinet?

Mooglefox 23

Saturday 31 October 2015 18:23

You can get high off that?

justanotherday7 7

Saturday 31 October 2015 22:46

Wtf Is he special?

tnebert 8

Sunday 1 November 2015 5:20

*headdesk*

mebad_fml 18

Sunday 1 November 2015 12:59

Wtf Is his problem

subscript 15

Sunday 1 November 2015 18:10

You got to lock up your nuts man

Neff000 3

Monday 2 November 2015 0:48

tell him to get a job so he can bye real drugs hahahahahaha

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my supervisor told me to stock the bedding department, so I did all the pallets set out, with an hour to spare to clean up, only for my supervisor to bring out three more once she saw I was done. FML

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Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML

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Today, after a lifetime of my mom being a huge gossip, even about her own kids, and lying about being the one spreading it around, my siblings and I have decided to stop telling my mom things. Now she lays these huge guilt trips on us, just because we don’t want the world to know our business. FML

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Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

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Today, I've now had to fire three employees this month alone. Why? Two were caught making TikToks while on the clock, “joking” about stealing customers’ credit card info, and the third posted a video of herself in a street fight while wearing her uniform. It should hurt to be this damn stupid. FML

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Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

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