Health Today, my pants caught fire. So did my balls. FML - FML

TungstenHearted - 12/05/2016 02:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my pants caught fire. So did my balls. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Nilorak 24

Thursday 12 May 2016 16:52

Great balls of fire.

bignic89 8

Thursday 12 May 2016 17:28

liar liar

Nilorak 24

Thursday 12 May 2016 16:52

Great balls of fire.

menja 29

Thursday 12 May 2016 17:25

And they burn, burn, burn! The balls of fire. The balls of fire.

bignic89 8

Thursday 12 May 2016 17:28

liar liar

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, we received our honeymoon itinerary. Our travel agent booked our flight to Punta Cana correctly. Too bad she booked us a hotel in Orlando, Florida. FML

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Today, me and my friend are sitting here on fmylife.com while our boyfriends are out clubbing. FML

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Today, my boss sent a message to a coworker saying, "We're putting all of you back on the phones because one of you can't stop watching Netflix so corporate thinks you guys don't do anything." That person was me. Everyone's pissed at me now. FML

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Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML

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Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I had sex to music, which we hadn't done before. I was getting close when it cut to commercial. I was so turned off by the idea of coming during an ad break that I didn't come at all. Thanks Spotify. FML

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