Kids Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a...

Gross... - 16/08/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

38 645

3 277

Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! …

oh for f*cks sake - 20/03/2017 12:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

4 842

422

That idiot - 28/08/2014 02:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

42 418

3 631

Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

26 563

64 391

- 27/01/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML

7 290

481

Pissed

holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

16 086

33 457

Dude, gross!

utensils123 - - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

33 776

2 376

It's called fashion Susan, look it up

Anonymous - 16/07/2020 23:01

Today, I thought it'd be funny to give my younger brother a wedgie. I found the thong I thought I'd lost. FML

1 753

441

Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

32 344

5 610

ilikeirishducks - 19/06/2009 13:51 - Italy

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

51 820

21 111

Business is business

Anonymous - 17/11/2023 06:00

Today, my best friend and I were taking bikini selfies in my backyard hot tub when I caught my little brother peeping and taking photos from around a corner behind us. Now I know how he can afford his vapes, despite not having a job and being in middle school. FML

446

272

AcidLacedBong 5

Tuesday 16 August 2011 11:53

Send him to Americas got talent!!

doctor_awesome 8

Tuesday 16 August 2011 11:53

ass straws. so you can use your mouth for more important things.

hobbsicle805 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 17:59

next Americas got talent anyone?

kaykay20 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:03

That sounds very unhealthy to suck up piss invested chlorine water. Has he been feeling ok?

lobum 12

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:09

does he give private lessons?

Isoldael 27

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:16

Thumbs up for the stephen lynch reference :D

mannykinz 9

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:33

your parents raised this dumbass.

freshx_fml 6

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:45

Sofa king funny!

Chrispayne 4

Tuesday 16 August 2011 18:47

When do u get to met his boyfriend

CAveMAn3719 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:09

Ha ur brothers a fag

xrainbowshadowx 17

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:15

Your brother has mad skills :D

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 16 August 2011 19:22

I foresee a future career in gay ****, or, at least, a prized twink...

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML

6 435

844

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

32 996

2 674

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up denial and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

33 950

6 696

Today, I was uninvited from every family event henceforth, because I finally had it and told my sister that I can’t stand to be around her horribly misbehaved kids. They have screaming meltdown tantrums, throw and break things, start fights and steal. How am I the bad guy? FML

2 213

283

Today, my mom has gotten to the stage of her Alzheimer’s where every time I visit she thinks I’m a burglar, and screams and cries until I leave. My dad does his best, but I just want my mom back. FML

1 376

105

Today, a customer asked me if we serve spaghetti. She then asked for a manager because I was giving her a weird look, laughing softly when telling her yes, and apparently making her feel stupid. My manager wrote me up. I work at the Old Spaghetti Factory. FML

1 257

222