Today, my girlfriend googled what the lyrics for "Watermelon... - FML

Anonymous - 26/11/2019 07:17

Today, my girlfriend googled what the lyrics for "Watermelon Sugar" actually mean. Her first reaction was "Ohhh", followed by thr question "does it really taste like strawberries?".. I did not know how to react. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

JackFaire 27

Wednesday 4 December 2019 8:51

Today your girlfriend found out she was dating an idiot who thinks everyone can listen to a song and assume it's about sex. Seriously there are only two places in the entire song that make it clear it's about sex and that's the two mentions of belly. I mean hell dude I didn't know Brick by Ben Folds Five was about abortion until I was 22. Songs are vague for a bloody reason.

JackFaire 27

Wednesday 4 December 2019 8:51

Today your girlfriend found out she was dating an idiot who thinks everyone can listen to a song and assume it's about sex. Seriously there are only two places in the entire song that make it clear it's about sex and that's the two mentions of belly. I mean hell dude I didn't know Brick by Ben Folds Five was about abortion until I was 22. Songs are vague for a bloody reason.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

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Today, after buying dinner from the supermarket, I had the change in my hand, and my wallet. In the parking lot, a quarter fell out of my hand, and right next to the street drain. As I went to pick it up, my wallet fell down the drain. FML

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Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML

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Today, I got a painful scratch on my nose. Nasty kitty? Nope. I never imagined a dried booger stuck in my handkerchief could be this hard and this sharp. FML

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Today, my popular friend stole another girl's boyfriend. She didn't keep him very long, though. In fact, she only kept him until I finally got together with my crush. Then she decided she had to have HIM. She succeeded, too. FML

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Today, I took my girlfriend out for a romantic dinner, since we can't see each other this Valentine's Day. Halfway through, my aunt called, telling me my grandma had died. I had to leave because I was crying so much, leaving my girlfriend with a very pricey bill. FML

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