Intimacy and Kids: Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds...

By Ohgodhelpme - 25/10/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds sweet, right? Then he invited my 10/14-year-old cousins to our house. They surprised me in my room. While I was using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 532

You deserved it 767

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Same thing different taste

By AMIGODO - 12/02/2011 15:13 - Netherlands

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 848

You deserved it 5 114

By mylifesucks - 18/04/2009 07:20 - Netherlands

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 356

You deserved it 7 025

By crazygirl - 29/10/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 502

You deserved it 5 168

By Brittany - 10/04/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 100

You deserved it 49 920

By TeeJay - 01/06/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 452

You deserved it 7 473

Shopping fun

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 22:59

Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 2 430

By Ouch - 21/01/2012 00:29 - United States

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 803

You deserved it 9 338

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 556

You deserved it 17 501

Caught in 4K

By Oops - 03/01/2016 19:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I wanted to tease him, so I got his attention and made my orgasm face when I thought no one was looking. His thirteen year-old cousin saw and now bursts out laughing whenever he sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 293

You deserved it 19 556

By Ribbed for Her Disaster - 04/04/2013 16:04 - United Kingdom - Orpington

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 426

You deserved it 19 445

Alup132 22

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:03

What a buzzkill!

pinilicious 19

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:17

The good vibes were killed.

Comments

Alup132 22

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:03

What a buzzkill!

BEEEEES 15

Thursday 25 October 2018 21:39

Wonderful

pinilicious 19

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:17

The good vibes were killed.

a1f0sff 25

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:22

You couldn't wait until you went to bed?

julfunky 29

Thursday 25 October 2018 21:47

... why should she wait until she goes to bed?

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:23

10/14 years old? What an odd way to express infant’s ages!

pscool 11

Thursday 25 October 2018 3:59

FYI he was probably planning on getting to use it with you for the first go around later on. But I guess it was too enticing to wait!

Dave_Davington 33

Thursday 25 October 2018 4:27

What better time to teach them all about the joys of mechanically assisted self diddling?

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 25 October 2018 4:56

Why those cousins specifically? Are you close to them than you are to others? Because that's now been ruined.

JulietMarie 30

Thursday 25 October 2018 15:22

Why wasn’t your door locked? At least then they wouldn’t have caught you in the act

raven_of_azarath 34

Thursday 25 October 2018 20:24

Why should you have to lock the door in your own house?

julfunky 29

Thursday 25 October 2018 19:20

Let me guess, then Father O’Flannagan walked in?

EmDizzle2007 28

Thursday 25 October 2018 21:57

the ungodly amount of desperate pun comments...

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The Top

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 63

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 650

The Top

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 707

You deserved it 3 041

Today, I confiscated my daughter’s tablet, phone and laptop after I caught her exchanging nudes with boys. My ex then called me in a rage, threatening to take me to court over “stealing his belongings” since he purchased them. No concern for our daughter’s behavior, just him wanting the stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 143

Today, I was really stressed, so I tried to let it out by crying. It lasted about 30 seconds, and I was making fun of myself the whole time. Even my subconscious thinks I'm pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 775

You deserved it 5 252

Today, my daughter finally learned that you can’t sleep your way to success, after she tried and failed to seduce her married boss, was sacked, and blacklisted as a potential lawsuit throughout every company specialising in her chosen career field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 506

Today, I told myself: "Go on you big geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your PC, go for a walk". I finally muster the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've been in an internet cafe for four hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 468

You deserved it 9 062

Today, my son was having a hard time mentally, and asked my wife if she loved him as much as she loved her biological children. She straight up told him not to be stupid, because of course she doesn’t love a step-kid as much as she loves her "real kids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 198

Same thing different taste

Shopping fun

Caught in 4K

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