Miscellaneous Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead,...

manicmandy - 01/08/2010 20:24 - United States

Today, I learned that ice cubes do not cool down hot oil. Instead, it causes a massive explosion of hot grease to splatter all over my parents' kitchen. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Slippery when wet

anonymous - 03/01/2017 01:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

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Anonymous - 02/10/2018 05:00

Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML

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Anonymous - 25/08/2012 13:15 - United States

Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML

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needs_another_loan - 02/10/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML

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Freeze!

Anonymous - 03/06/2024 06:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML

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Heart of Glass

blahblahblah - 15/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML

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bloodyLIP - 14/05/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

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Jesus saves

WorkSexMonkey - 04/01/2010 19:20 - United States

Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML

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cnkk07 - 14/10/2011 10:36 - United States

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

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SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

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telle_16 0

Monday 2 August 2010 1:20

WTF, are you an idiot?

TeeHooligan 0

Monday 2 August 2010 1:19

ooo burnn!

alexdear1029_fml_fml 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:00

oohhh suckss haha(:

samellens 1

Monday 2 August 2010 4:10

I wouldve loved to have seen that. it must have been intense,

nldawgsccr22795 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:11

well of course wen u put water in hot oil it's gunna come back and splash everyone ones tht.... well I guess not everyone

kaxmorg 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:37

You lost me at "tht".

Honesty4U 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:15

How did you not know that? Are your parents siblings?

greenblue90 2

Monday 2 August 2010 4:15

duh!

suz5y 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:16

Don't you watch Myth Busters!!!

Riccoshea 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:20

coulda been worse lol

ipodlover1995 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:27

Wow that was a GENIUS idea! *major freaking sarcasm*

lurchin_10 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:29

YDI for being from Nebraska

BaileyBoy 0

Monday 2 August 2010 4:37

Mr. Wizard you're not. FAIL.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

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Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

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Today, I slept through my alarm and got fired for being late for work. My husband had changed my alarm to go off at 8:00PM instead of 8:00AM all because apparently, I was suspected of “conspiracy to cheat” by liking a male friend’s selfie on Instagram. FML

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Today, I was going to bleach my bikini line, as I have not been able to shave there due to some ingrown hairs, and I also have to lifeguard every day. As it turns out, I'm allergic to the bleach. There is now an angry red, burning rash on my crotch that you can see around my swimsuit. FML

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Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML

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Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML

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