Love: Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting... - FML

By hugedissapointment - 09/08/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 937

You deserved it 63 661

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Same thing different taste

By Princeton - 22/01/2009 20:34 - United States

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 771

You deserved it 47 996

By thanks. - 28/01/2017 04:00

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 983

You deserved it 830

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 966

You deserved it 7 038

By hannax - 16/08/2016 17:26 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 346

You deserved it 1 721

By cockblocked - 11/05/2012 18:29 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 913

You deserved it 23 971

By Malarky - 23/06/2016 19:10 - United States

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 264

You deserved it 1 240

By Crawling - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 062

You deserved it 10 272

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 506

You deserved it 7 975

No chance

By Anonymous - 21/02/2020 14:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 917

Truth

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 166

Next

Top comments

lucky0514 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 19:01

WTF is wrong with you people... "texting" for four days and you wanna have sex with her? YDIYDIYDI

Neferria 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 18:58

Wait, why did she want to come to your place for a nap?

Comments

hurley12 30

Thursday 8 January 2015 2:03

You think she's gonna screw you after 4 days? YDI

annacatherine 9

Thursday 29 January 2015 4:17

Why would you **** her after talking for four days?? Typical asshole..

Radgears47 23

Wednesday 11 March 2015 0:41

This is when you go lie down next to her. Make the nap meaningful

theriz1006 2

Friday 10 July 2015 16:32

YDI for thinking you were getting some after 4 DAYS xD

heroqucas 25

Sunday 11 October 2015 11:24

I really think that you deserve it, show some restraint

Emma Marshall 19

Wednesday 20 June 2018 3:51

Why would you think that means sex? And why would you or her want sex after texting for 4 days.....

Blunt person 16

Monday 11 February 2019 7:38

YDI for automatically assuming "nap" means "sex".

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You deserved it 4 117

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I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 305

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I agree, your life sucks 26 667

You deserved it 2 831

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I agree, your life sucks 35 595

You deserved it 3 621