Miscellaneous: Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that... - FML

By PangolinScholar - 25/01/2014 00:34 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 36 323

You deserved it 4 321

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 18:01 - United States

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 230

You deserved it 4 240

Have you ever zapped anyone?

By Attack of the Electric Dad - 19/01/2023 10:00

Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 167

Zapped

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 11:01 - Germany - Olbersdorf

Today, I got the worst electric shock ever, touching a wire that was connected to the electric fence only by a plastic isolator, made specifically to NOT conduct electricity. I still don’t understand how it was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 150

Good vibes

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I was in a quiet library when I noticed a buzzing sound. I ignored it, but it kept going. I looked around, but nobody else seemed to notice. After 5 minutes of searching, I realized the buzzing was coming from my backpack. My electric toothbrush had turned itself on and was rattling around. Everyone watched me pull out a vibrating bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 382

Driving me mad

By Anonymous - 24/05/2025 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I kept hearing a weird buzzing sound in my apartment. I turned off everything, unplugged appliances, and was on the verge of calling maintenance. Turns out, it was my electric toothbrush vibrating in my suitcase… for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 366

That's the power of love

By Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 184

Queasy beats

By Bleh - 08/03/2019 22:00 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I found out that my new, expensive noise-canceling headphones trigger my motion sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 173

You deserved it 260

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 19:00

Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 246

You deserved it 1 624

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 07:32 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 288

You deserved it 7 887

Squeaking the day away

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 12:00

Today, I wore new shoes to work, which turned out to be the loudest shoes on the planet when walking on the office lino. Every step echoed like a cartoon villain entering a room. My coworker asked if I needed some WD-40. I still had six hours left to walk around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 93

Next

Top comments

WR4 10

Saturday 25 January 2014 12:30

That's probably not a healthy relationship to have with your headphones...

subwaysurfers 13

Saturday 25 January 2014 13:07

Okay, FML's 5th birthday. I'm sorry fml website. I forget my family's birthday sometimes so I hope we can put this behind. I really cannot go a day without you. Forgive me.

Comments

caiitaliicex3 1

Sunday 26 January 2014 18:59

I thought I was the only one ..

AlexRen 21

Monday 27 January 2014 12:35

Static Shock? Is that you, Virgil?

heyitme 3

Tuesday 28 January 2014 2:01

Can someone tell me what 5ML stands for?

kenleybunch 15

Tuesday 28 January 2014 3:58

"5ML"

Sillywilly99 8

Tuesday 28 January 2014 21:00

Watts by dre. No stun intended.

VixieRattler 9

Wednesday 29 January 2014 20:37

That happens to me too, only when my earbuds are starting to short circuit

leo812 11

Thursday 30 January 2014 1:22

STATIC SHOCK!!!!!

Foreverlass 1

Friday 31 January 2014 18:52

its not u if u hv skullcandys

BigD3452 6

Wednesday 12 February 2014 20:00

Same shit happens to me. And my wife is always afraid I'm going to zap her when I kiss her lol

darkfireflame 15

Saturday 15 February 2014 16:00

Must be your electric personality

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Today, I found out my husband has racked up $3000 on our credit cards, and ruined my credit score. When confronted, all he had to say was, "Well you didn't tell me when you bought that ten-dollar t-shirt, so I guess we're even." FML

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Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

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Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 563

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Today, while at the hospital recovering from surgery, I overheard my doctor tell one of the nurses I'm so fat I could start a grease fire if left near an open flame. They thought I was still unconscious. I wasn't. FML

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Today, I had a customer scream at me for ruining their child's birthday party. They had bought a Piñata from me and didn't know they had to fill it themselves. The kids had hit it open and it was empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 646

You deserved it 4 440

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 085

You deserved it 4 363