Health: Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his... - FML

By KJL - 29/08/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 799

You deserved it 3 872

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Same thing different taste

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 973

You deserved it 6 547

By anonymous - 20/03/2012 22:33 - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 352

You deserved it 4 031

It sort of is

By AMP4U - 31/08/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 245

You deserved it 7 478

The real Zodiac killer?

By Anonymous - 21/09/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband that we should write down all our passwords so we don't forget them. Later, after he'd left, I pulled out his password sheet to do a little snooping, only to learn that he'd written them in some sort of bizarre cipher. What's he hiding? FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 231

By Thanks Honey - 05/06/2013 15:08 - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 624

You deserved it 5 201

Breathtaking view

By Anonymous - 04/11/2025 00:00

Today, my husband farted while he was naked and bending over to pick up his clothes, so me lying on the bed got a perfect view of his butthole twitching and flapping around as the gas escaped. Who says romance is dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 132

By woundedexwife - 16/01/2010 01:22 - United States

Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 999

You deserved it 2 866

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 313

You deserved it 4 022

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 974

You deserved it 6 847

By Phoebe - 18/07/2009 08:15 - Singapore

Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 846

You deserved it 4 170

Next

Top comments

Johnothan 0

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

That's hilarious. He's winning

Ads11 10

Monday 29 August 2011 18:47

*Twilight Zone Tune*

Comments

gimmenovacaine 4

Monday 29 August 2011 20:06

This is the best LOL!!

Alexisthebestest 16

Monday 29 August 2011 20:08

I think he's on to something here...

Zaffro 8

Monday 29 August 2011 20:28

You married an uneducated idiot well done!

xlizzx 0

Monday 29 August 2011 20:31

Maybe it's not so bad.... Maybe his farts are saying "I love you"

Salkadi 9

Monday 29 August 2011 20:35

It's better that than him receiving messages from god through the neighbor's dog

Pendragon525 0

Monday 29 August 2011 20:37

Perhaps, if the Morse Code gets him nowhere, he should try a Ouija Board?

unillenium 6

Monday 29 August 2011 20:45

Perhaps higher powers are trying to warn him of a dangerous gas leak. P.S. Fart Jokes aren't funny.

Cynical_in_SK 6

Monday 29 August 2011 20:53

Just when you thought the nut jobs couldn't get any crazier! I mean ignorance is one thing...that can usually be cured...but this? This is just fricken scary!

champjb 0

Monday 29 August 2011 21:10

they say to just go to the bathroom

iceman05 0

Monday 29 August 2011 21:23

awesome!

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The Top

The Top

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 407

You deserved it 32 144

Today, I had a horrible head injury that prevented me from going to my girlfriend's birthday party, and when my mom answered my phone, she thought my mom was a girl I was cheating with. Even after posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, in places she hasn't blocked me on, she just commented that I was faking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 120

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 785

You deserved it 9 360

Today, I caught my fiancé picking his nose and eating it. I don’t want to break up over this but I just cannot for the life of me get that image out of my head. Every time he tries to kiss me, I visibly gag and turn my head away. He says I’m being unreasonable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 233

Today, I was informed by a supermarket employee that yet another product that I loved to eat has been discontinued, due to low sales. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 162

Today, I discovered that my supposed 'friend' was spreading rumours about me and my other friends. We confronted her, but then she started crying and playing the victim so everyone would feel sorry for her, then spread more rumours. My friends and I have done nothing to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 154