Miscellaneous: Today, I confronted my husband about pissing on the toilet seat... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By fuckit10000 - 19/07/2016 08:57 - United States - Medford

Today, I confronted my husband about pissing on the toilet seat again. His response? To shine a bright flashlight in my face to disorient me. Everytime I tried to talk he'd shine it in my face again. I'm still having trouble seeing and I feel extremely demeaned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 24

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

ChristinePi 36

Wednesday 20 July 2016 4:01

Sounds like you married a manchild. Sucks op

Infamous_Pickle 21

Wednesday 20 July 2016 2:09

Next time, try to talk to him with sunglasses on.

Comments

Infamous_Pickle 21

Wednesday 20 July 2016 2:09

Next time, try to talk to him with sunglasses on.

ChristinePi 36

Wednesday 20 July 2016 4:01

Sounds like you married a manchild. Sucks op

Geckosrock99 33

Wednesday 20 July 2016 8:09

Confiscate the flashlight. If he's going to act like a child, treat him as such. Demene him and see how he likes it.

ctosc 21

Wednesday 20 July 2016 12:00

leave him

Tyrax 16

Wednesday 27 July 2016 22:19

If he wants to be a man-child, stop doing things for him. He can fix his own food, do his own laundry, etc. When he complains, either shine a flashlight at him, or outright ignore him. Maybe pop on some headphones, or make a phone call.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 293

You deserved it 7 141

Today, I called my phone company to get some answers about my phone bill. I was okay with being put on hold. In fact, I was on hold for so long, that the music stopped playing. When someone finally answered they told me to call back tomorrow. All my phones disconnected an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 180

You deserved it 2 958

Today, like nearly every morning, I got yelled at by a relative because I got up late. Nearly every night, I lie in bed with anxiety attacks because of her daily insults. I get up late to avoid her, but she decided that I sleep great, which makes her angry. She also gets angry if I get up earlier than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 131

Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 571

You deserved it 2 875

Today, I waxed my asshole and it wouldn’t stop bleeding, so I had to shove toilet paper down my crack, because I have things to do that require me to get dressed and go out in public. It still bled through my trousers. It looks like I got my period, and I’m a 6”4 man with a beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 1 183

Today, I texted my boss, "I'm looking forward to doing you" instead of, "I'm looking forward to seeing you" thanks to a very unfortunate combination of my atrocious typing skills on a smartphone and an overzealous autocorrect function. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 458