Health Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking...

Noname - 05/03/2009 19:44 - Canada

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

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Women's Day: Equality and Laughter
Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! …

kewlio45 - 01/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

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Dribble

My spit everywhere - 30/12/2015 07:48 - United States - La Grange Park

Today, I went to the dentist. She had a tool that sucks up saliva, and put it in my mouth. She told me to close my mouth, and I did. Turns out she forgot to turn it on, causing my saliva to go all over my face. I had to sit like that for the rest of the visit. FML

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Dr.Anonymous - 22/03/2014 11:56 - India - Mumbai

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

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Username - 15/07/2010 19:53 - France

Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML

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Nervous Nelly

Anonymous - 12/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML

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fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

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TT - 19/04/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I went to get some teeth pulled. I had Novocaine in my gums and lip so I couldn't feel a thing. When the doctor is pulling out the last tooth, he sneezes and pulls the tooth out. He looks in my mouth and I hear, "Oh, shit..." I now have stitches in my mouth. FML

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Stiff upper lip

Diana - 26/01/2024 00:00 - Germany

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML

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stoych - 08/10/2012 07:14 - United Kingdom

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

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Language of love

TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

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hello_there_09 0

Friday 6 March 2009 1:05

OH my gosh!!! I would throw up!

xelectrickiss 0

Friday 6 March 2009 1:07

im gagging. seriously, nasty.

slick69 0

Friday 29 October 2010 10:43

Dats ****** up!

HopeaDope26 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 15:57

That is soooooo nasty!!!! LOL

kaykay812 0

Friday 12 November 2010 7:24

oh my god that's terrible

CuppyCake666 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 20:51

Oh my god, that's gross.

keeyanger 0

Monday 15 November 2010 16:14

Hahaha

chrissymissy 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 17:39

thas disgusting!!

Kharmah 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 11:03

too bad a dentist is required to wear a facemask even during a cleaning so quit being stupid

RebeccaP2010 0

Monday 22 November 2010 12:47

HOLY shit, I would murder him!!! that's gnaaarly!!

tmarie21 0

Tuesday 30 November 2010 11:14

That's so against OSHA rules! he's supposed to be wearing a mask and goggles and gloves! Obviously he didn't have a mask on! nasty!!!

jark_fml 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 2:18

FAKE it is by law to wear face masks!

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, as they have for the past three years, my boyfriend's parents have never called me by my actual name. They always "accidentally" call me by my boyfriend's ex's name. FML

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Today, despite hints, suggestions, and even blatant criticism, my coworker refuses to believe he smells like rotten donkey nuts. He says he only needs to shower once a week, and that he doesn't believe in deodorant. I volunteered to do an extra autopsy today because the morgue smells better. FML

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Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML

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Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML

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Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the BDSM catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML

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