Today, after drinking a half gallon of liquid laxative in preparation...

By Ali - 17/04/2019 02:00

Today, after drinking a half gallon of liquid laxative in preparation for a colonoscopy, I puked the half gallon of laxative. Out my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 224

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Drained

By Anonymous - 01/08/2020 23:01

Today, after following the directions and drinking a gallon of what can only be described as an industrial strength laxative for a scheduled colonoscopy. I shit my brains out for nearly 12 hours. The hospital then called and canceled my procedure an hour before my arrival time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 107

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 24/12/2022 15:00

Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 118

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 07:18 - United States

Today, I learned I have a severe sinus infection, my body really can't handle antibiotics, and I can projectile vomit out my nose. Not sure if I am more impressed that I still somehow aimed the puke into the sink, or that swallowing afterwards hurt more than emptying my stomach via my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 429

You deserved it 2 261

By Preggo - 10/12/2016 01:51

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 593

You deserved it 847

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 20:35 - United States - New Iberia

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 243

You deserved it 4 898

By anon - 11/05/2009 20:37 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 145

You deserved it 3 151

By mynoseburns - 22/02/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 516

You deserved it 2 657

By sofakingweetodit - 18/10/2010 12:44 - United States

Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 787

You deserved it 35 312

Shit happens

By Anonymous - 24/07/2023 04:00 - United States - Apalachin

Today, my husband had a colonoscopy. Having spent yesterday hearing him complain about having only clear liquids and having to drink the required solution, he still was not cleaned out. We have to reschedule with two days of clear liquids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 98

By MGDS - 14/12/2013 05:52 - United States - Pine Grove

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 189

You deserved it 3 261

bloopaloop 27

Wednesday 17 April 2019 3:19

Well then the logical solution is to put the half gallon of laxative directly into your butthole!

Mightytall 35

Wednesday 17 April 2019 19:10

I feel for you... that stuff is all kinds of nasty. And the wanted effects are enough suffering all by themselves.

Comments

bloopaloop 27

Wednesday 17 April 2019 3:19

Well then the logical solution is to put the half gallon of laxative directly into your butthole!

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 17 April 2019 5:20

Sounds like a... ...wait on it... ...you think you know what I’m going to say... ...unshitty situation!

Gigi Hill 6

Wednesday 17 April 2019 7:09

I’m by no means an expert but I’m also pretty sure you’re not doing that right. Scratch that....NAILED it! 👍🏻

gsouther 11

Wednesday 17 April 2019 9:55

Out OF my nose. Grammar is the secret code that intelligent people used to identify each other.

Mightytall 35

Wednesday 17 April 2019 19:10

I feel for you... that stuff is all kinds of nasty. And the wanted effects are enough suffering all by themselves.

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Thursday 18 April 2019 17:07

did you shotgun or sip it

raven_of_azarath 34

Friday 19 April 2019 19:25

Puking out your nose is never fun. The first time I ever got drunk, I puked Cheeto puffs out my nose.

Davros 12

Saturday 20 April 2019 23:44

Did you get a runny nose?

donb23 23

Sunday 21 April 2019 6:15

Wrong hole

Keywords

Friends Love Teenagers Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Work Revenge Awkward Parents Relatable Weird Miscellaneous Health Job interview Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice AITA Kids Annoying Roommate Shoes Music Names Customers Education Capitalism

The Top

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 218

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 229

The Top

Today, I found out I’m not getting a raise, despite my ‘outstanding’ performance, since the company made a loss this year. Last year I didn’t get a raise because of COVID uncertainty. The year before that I didn’t get a raise because I only just got ‘promoted’, where I also didn’t get a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 120

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 303

You deserved it 2 942

Today, my boyfriend came home, chugged a beer, and passed out in our bed without saying hello or goodnight to me. I've been on vacation for a week and was hoping to cuddle. But no, if I try to touch him, he hits me and growls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 141

You deserved it 6 933

Today, I had to convince my nine year-old brother to stop using my biology textbook as a masturbatory aid so I could actually get some studying done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 521

You deserved it 1 977

Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 355

You deserved it 7 617

Today, my girlfriend of three years dumped me because my refusal to go out drinking or get wasted at parties with her makes me "too boring". Thing is, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm over one year sober and I don't want to risk relapsing again, yet she expects me to choose between my health and her idea of fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 151

Same thing different taste

Drained

Rip it up and start again

Shit happens

Top comments

Comments