Transportation The *****

The *****

FML - 21/06/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

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Neat freak

Carrie - 01/12/2025 15:00

Today, I cleaned my car for the first time in ages and proudly showed my friend how spotless it was. Right then, a gust of wind blew a huge mess of shit straight inside as I opened the door. She said, “Nature disagrees.” Shards of leaves and other bits of crap were everywhere. FML

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birdmagnet - 25/04/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

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overlandparkmommie - 14/05/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

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oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

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birdfoooo - 29/11/2011 15:26 - United States

Today, as I was leaving Walmart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

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Anonymous - 17/06/2019 20:48

Today, I'd finished cleaning the interior of my vehicle, but seconds later, a stray cat jumped in through the other opened door, and took a dump right in the center of the mat inside. FML

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Anonymous - 11/09/2013 14:16 - United States - Portland

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

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Deep cleanse

Anonymous - 08/09/2025 22:00 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I took my car to the automatic wash for the first time in years. I didn’t realize you’re supposed to remember to close the sunroof. I now own a freshly-cleaned car interior, soaked seats, and one very wet, traumatized dog. FML

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FMLimsomad - 29/12/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, I looked outside and I saw that my new car had been snowed on. Sadly the snow had frozen onto the car, so I spent the entire day getting it off. I came inside. By 8pm, my car had snow all over it again, and this time I left the window open. FML

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NGM_47 0

Monday 22 June 2009 2:11

LMAO!! Well, at least you didn't leave your windows open :D ....or did you?

GlassJAwkidE 3

Monday 22 June 2009 2:10

oh boy hahaha.

beaverdogmouse 0

Monday 22 June 2009 3:44

YDI for having a garage

softballplaya822 0

Monday 22 June 2009 4:02

haha that's disgusting... at least it didn't get on the inside of your car... that's always the hardest part to clean

easylazy 0

Monday 22 June 2009 4:15

YDI for being a douche to animals

Colby_Colbert 0

Monday 22 June 2009 4:20

perineum - look it up peeps

lostmymind16 0

Monday 22 June 2009 4:27

now you are aware that the bird is the word.

FMLwin 1

Monday 22 June 2009 4:27

Your username is amazing.

TryToBeKind 0

Monday 22 June 2009 4:50

Ug! That sucks! I think birds just enjoy ******** on newly cleaned cars. At least they didn't poop on he inside?

Nick_726 0

Monday 22 June 2009 4:57

Oh that sucks, ale thing happened to me pretty much...I spent like four hours cleaning my car and right as I finished it started to rain and my car was parked under tree and the next morning my car was covered in pollen and other shit. So I feel for ya