Intimacy The passenger

The passenger

benander - 15/09/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

scarred for life - 28/05/2016 05:23 - United States - Carmel

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

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Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

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what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

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That's nice

ouch - - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

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Sorry, little dude

dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

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Creepypasta

mrsekko - 31/05/2011 12:44 - United States

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

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blowinchunks - 24/11/2009 06:00 - Canada

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

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Ring of fire

Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

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Bunged up

Anonymous - 17/03/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML

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Rob - 16/10/2009 01:59 - France

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML

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LOLYLIF 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 3:05

I hope to ******* God no one does a comic for this one.

zrjones 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 1:52

this is oone of the nastiest FMLs ever

deadboy73 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 3:36

yeah, wow you won. **** your life

rightsaidred 3

Wednesday 16 September 2009 3:36

OMFG EWWWWWWWW. FYL indeed, sir.

dan11 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 3:37

ok this is one of the grossest things ive ever read. FYL. and number 150.... was that a joke or are you serious? cuz you seem kinda crazy....

medfly 2

Wednesday 16 September 2009 3:41

OP, if it helps, I can point out some people voluntarily get tapeworm infections to lose weight.

allie2590 31

Wednesday 16 September 2009 4:37

That's one of the most horrifying things I've ever heard.

molitov 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 3:41

I must have read it wrong.. I thought u pulled the whole thing out.. man I'm glad to be vegetarian

made_of_fail 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 3:42

Without a doubt, this is the most uncouth and nasty FML I've ever read. However on the other hand, it is the exact reason this site was created. Disgusting kudos to the OP, and thank you for giving me a reason to avoid tonight fishy-fillet dinner. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.