Alcohol Miscellaneous The mouthfeel

The mouthfeel

rookiemistake - 27/04/2015 03:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

28 950

10 143

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Connaisseur

Anonymous - 06/01/2025 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML

754

First impressions

medik - 23/02/2010 12:51 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

29 997

8 231

Business casual

Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

34 281

5 598

tryandtryagain - 28/04/2011 04:04 - United Kingdom

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

21 492

29 802

Hi-de-hi

Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

20 264

46 596

Wine buffs

ThatWineGuy - 23/12/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, some friends and I had a wine tasting evening, and I tried to impress my friends by showing off my extensive knowledge of different wines. I confidently described the subtle "notes of vanilla and oak" in a bottle of wine… only to find out that my "friends" had pranked me, and it was actually grape juice. FML

956

The wedding from hell

Anonymous - 04/04/2023 14:00

Today, I embarrassed myself and my husband at the wedding of one of his rich cousins by trying caviar for the first time, finding it unbearably disgusting, choking, spitting it out all over the table, and downing three glasses of water to stop myself coughing. Now they think I’m common as muck. FML

682

935

blegh - 16/01/2009 04:57 - Switzerland

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

27 868

6 279

The Hangover

Anonymous - - United States - Newark

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

19 188

9 984

No third base for you

Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

743

280

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Monday 27 April 2015 12:20

Wearing a white shirt while wine tasting? You like to take chances :)

Cads1 24

Monday 27 April 2015 12:15

Guess you should have swallowed that.

igg125 30

Monday 27 April 2015 14:07

Hope it wasn't red wine.

tosdyke 16

Monday 27 April 2015 14:13

You should follow some swallower's around!

CzechIsBack 15

Monday 27 April 2015 14:20

Can happen to the best of us

theTravinator 21

Monday 27 April 2015 14:25

OP did you know that there is a difference between swishing your wine and gargling it like it's mouthwash? I'm lost on how you managed that

garretto185 22

Monday 27 April 2015 14:54

Hopefully you still found a wine that you liked?

Badkarma4u 17

Monday 27 April 2015 15:39

Penn and teller did a great show on wine tasting you should check out.

blackonblight 32

Monday 27 April 2015 15:56

I'm kinda wondering why you wore white to a wine tasting instead of black. I'd be paranoid about wearing white. Also my wardrobe is 90% black so maybe I'm biased...