Alcohol, Drunk, Gross Health The Hangover - FML

The Hangover

Anonymous - - United States - Newark

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Geyser Söze

Anonymous - 08/09/2020 14:01

Today, I found out why my B&B host looked so pissed this morning. I remember having too much red wine and puking out the window last night. Turns out the lampshade underneath the window spread my puke all over the freshly painted wall. FML

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The mouthfeel

rookiemistake - 27/04/2015 03:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

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Connaisseur

Anonymous - 06/01/2025 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML

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First impressions

medik - 23/02/2010 12:51 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

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TragicallyAnxious - 10/05/2019 08:00

Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML

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sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

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Chemistry

Anonymous - 31/03/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

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Drunken mess

SlutRobot6000 - 01/07/2022 04:00

Today, I'm using mold and mildew stain remover on my mattress, all because I threw up on it drunk, and was to lazy to clean it up when it happened. FML

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disgusted - 23/02/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

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Pissed

whoops -

Today, I saw that the wine bottle I couldn't open last night had a big hole in the top from my struggle to open it. It was a screw top. I must've been drunker than I thought last night. FML

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knsy 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 18:59

Billy Mays would have had a field day on that shit.

VorpikeII 17

Thursday 22 March 2012 18:57

Your fault? Or did someone else regurgitate the wine?

kelsojww 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 23:04

Probably better then regurgitated UV blue, makes you feel like a smurf lol

jillybean555 5

Thursday 22 March 2012 23:11

Hmm... Maybe it's wine?

DataWog 30

Friday 23 March 2012 0:13

I used to work at a dry cleaner's..... Trust me on this one, it looks a whole lot worse on a textured duvet.

kalgon 0

Friday 23 March 2012 1:51

Trying to nourish your offspring and missed their mouth(s)?!?

duncanbaseball 0

Friday 23 March 2012 2:32

Pics or it didn't happen.

Crimsos 4

Friday 23 March 2012 5:52

Most people drink the wine from the bottle, not eat the whole thing!

xgetxbentx 13

Friday 23 March 2012 10:37

I'm betting you deserved it...

goodgood_fml 5

Friday 23 March 2012 11:40

Awesome should get that out. You have to treat it while it's fresh. If you let it dry, you probably need to just soak it in the washer for an hour or 2, then complete the wash cycle. Awesome can be found at Wal-mart and Dollar General. Good luck!!

KittyShadows 5

Friday 23 March 2012 12:38

Someone had a good time

icey0796 6

Friday 23 March 2012 17:00

Was your psychiatrist showing you blotches and asking what they looked like to you?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was trying to get drama students to attempt to make themselves cry. I was not having any luck, until suddenly a girl burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. I jumped up to applaud, saying what a wonderful thing it is to have such expressive kids. Turns out her grandma just died. FML

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Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

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Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

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Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

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Today, I went to my BFF's 16th birthday party. As I arrived, a VERY cute (and familiar looking) boy said to me, "You look hot! Wanna kiss?" I've made out at parties before so I agreed. As we did, I recognized my pal as a slightly butch, if pretty, GIRL I know. Worst part - her kisses are better than my boyfriend's. Am I gay now? FML

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Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been feeling of pressure in my chest. After running numerous tests, I was told I was perfectly healthy and had nothing to worry about. I made it as far as the front door before I collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

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