Intimacy That was quick - FML

That was quick

Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

anon - 27/07/2015 04:43 - United States

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

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Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

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Snooze fest

Karly - 03/02/2022 20:00

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML

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bobin - 29/08/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

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Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

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Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

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Relaxed

sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

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Gimme the D

Anonymous - 07/02/2024 11:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

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Married Life 101 - 16/05/2019 02:41

Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML

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ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

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olpally 32

Sunday 9 September 2012 19:38

Well, that escalated quickly...

shrimp1234 4

Sunday 9 September 2012 19:34

He has no staying power at all.

leahmae88 7

Thursday 13 September 2012 7:49

Well, at least you did your job.

haleystar16 7

Friday 8 March 2013 15:42

Why don't you just wait till he wakes up? Seems easier and less messy to me

Panda_Shy_Haven 17

Friday 5 July 2013 7:21

Just think of it this way. You're just that good

massacermark 2

Monday 2 September 2013 2:50

Guess you didn't see that cumming

caitywebbkid 5

Friday 20 January 2017 16:43

Idk man, as much as morning sex would be great, I'd feel pretty proud if you could make your man cum just with foreplay. Unless it's a consistent issue. In which case, blue pills are your friend

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

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Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

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Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML

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Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

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Today, my mom said my name and startled me so badly, I jumped and dropped the glass I was holding. She still isn’t speaking to me for breaking her favorite glass. FML

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Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

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