Love Break-ups Thanks for nothing

Thanks for nothing

John-John - 06/03/2017 15:00 - United States - Jackson

Today, I got break-up text. She called me a poor, broke, little dick, sorry excuse for a man and said that my mom should have swallowed me "as an egg". She also said that no one could ever want me. Thing is, I haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years. FML

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fucklife - 16/04/2013 18:13 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

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isystuff - 01/02/2011 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML

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NowImSingle - 12/02/2018 19:00

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML

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Don't blame me

Face_loser - 24/11/2009 08:11 - United States

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend at her request, because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received four calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML

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EpicFail - 25/01/2009 04:25 - Canada

Today, I got a text message saying, "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

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Anonymous - 21/03/2015 08:55 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend she's too good for me, then asking if she wants to settle for someone like me. FML

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Calcultated

Anonymous - 02/10/2022 07:30

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. Over text. While I was on vacation visiting my old grandparents. FML

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Anonymous - 13/05/2015 17:20 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

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christian9294 - 08/02/2010 20:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

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Sucks to suck

youfuckingdumbassmum - 27/12/2012 23:20 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, I was texting my mother after my boyfriend broke off our relationship. She offered incredibly supportive replies such as "No, really?" and "Aww, that sucks." before apparently getting bored and claiming she had to go because her "text reception" was breaking up. FML

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Arashikage 18

Monday 6 March 2017 22:47

It obvious she didn't pay attention in biology

hugtrees13 16

Monday 6 March 2017 23:19

Why do woman make fun of things men can't control/are born with?(dick size) Nobody can help having a little dick -why hold it against them? and it sounds more like a "F that guy's life" instead of yours.

species4872 19

Tuesday 7 March 2017 5:05

Took her two years to figure out how to send a text.

DEADPOOL076 30

Tuesday 7 March 2017 16:07

I feel for the guy that was intended for. She sounds like a keeper and he lost her.

Kate Amanda 2

Tuesday 7 March 2017 18:09

Well at least it wasn't really toward you

Jacobus_G 3

Tuesday 7 March 2017 19:26

was this from somebody you knew was it an ex-girlfriend or just a rando

squiros 2

Tuesday 7 March 2017 19:58

please re hire your editors. "today i got break up text" is the same as trump's "we need brain". today, i got A break-up text today, i got THE break-up text today, i got break-up textS or maybe trump wasn't channeling his inner zombie and was talking about this website. or how difficult rudimentary grammar skills are - it must actually takes seconds, maybe minutes by a child of average learning capacity to master. otherwise, it actually makes sense. she seemed slighted - so she deleted his number. later realizing she didn't have it memorized, your number was her best guess at the previously deleted number.

jcash52426 5

Tuesday 7 March 2017 21:21

The poster wrote a comment on FML he wasn't sending a work letter let him write any way he wants. And you need to stop being a grammatical corrector bitch!!!