Family, Poopoo peepee, AITA, Grandparents Miscellaneous Terms of service

Terms of service

Anonymous - - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Inspection time

Anonymous - - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

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Poop

Roma - 16/06/2017 14:00 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML

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Not now!

Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

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Open door policy

Anonymous - 09/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML

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Quality family time

really mature, GRAN - 25/12/2012 20:59 - United States - El Macero

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

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MedChew - 08/05/2015 12:46 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML

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Flushed

Anonymous - 24/07/2023 03:00

Today, and once a week for the past three weeks, I had to tell some house guests to stop flushing things like Q-tips and tampons down my apartment's toilet. My preteen siblings? No, my 45-year-old mom and her similarly-aged boyfriend. FML

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Cringe

mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

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Anonymous - 14/02/2015 19:02 - United States - Lemont

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

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Shortage

WaterNeeded - 21/06/2018 20:30

Today, I came back from a holiday with in-laws who don't speak English. After taking a dump and not being able to flush, I realised they had turned off the water prior to the holiday. I had to show them my poop to explain they had no running water. FML

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squizzlebee 19

Thursday 31 December 2015 14:23

That's disgusting.

NYM88 26

Thursday 31 December 2015 14:29

If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.

momo3p 22

Saturday 2 January 2016 18:30

Sorry but that's retarded and disgusting

rachael_king_11 16

Saturday 2 January 2016 22:36

We got "if it's yellow let it mellow. If it's brown flush it down". My parents tell that to everybody who comes over.

Airbell12 11

Monday 4 January 2016 3:56

Yellow pee is kind of gross; I would be okay if it blended.

hlect3rmd 3

Sunday 3 January 2016 2:06

wtf?

wanker1298 4

Monday 4 January 2016 3:29

Penis

Cinis 13

Sunday 3 April 2016 8:38

How unsanitary!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

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Today, I was happy to take a break and do a guitar performance, but my teacher was the rudest ever. He had his guitar at the front row, playing while I was, and he played the song live with me just to confuse me, and ending up ruining the performance. FML

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Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

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Today, I had to wake up my mother as the earthquake alarm rang in my country. This is the second quake in less than a week. FML

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Today, like most days, no matter what I eat, my stomach does not agree. FML

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Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

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