Work, Money Kids Tales of the Unexpected

Tales of the Unexpected

Anonymous - 06/03/2022 16:00

Today, due to some luck on my part and a really good stockbroker, I was able to retire quite comfortably at 45… at least until my wife told me she's pregnant, and as an added bonus, it’s twins. Now I need a job again, quite desperately. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

In this economy?

Anonymous - 30/05/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML

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Classic grandma

Anonymous - 22/07/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I announced my fourth pregnancy, this time with twins. I heard my mother mutter, “Finally two kids from the same dad.” FML

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Get up off your ass

Anonymous - 18/05/2013 19:27 - Mexico - Celaya

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

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Adopt a different attitude

Anonymous - 09/04/2022 22:00

Today, I have always been adamant on not wanting children ever, then I did a stupid thing, and now I’m now single and pregnant with twins at 22 years-old. My life is so fucking over. FML

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Never enough, never

Anonymous - 06/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I got promoted at work and was excited to tell my mom. When I called her, she immediately asked, “What does this mean for my retirement fund?” and then asked how much I was going to be making. I told her, and she responded, “Oh. That’s nice, but when are you getting a real job?” FML

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Hope

Anonymous - 25/11/2025 00:00

Today, after six months of trying, my wife was convinced she was finally pregnant with our first baby, which we put off having for years until we got our careers, savings and house where we needed them. One trip to the doctor's and it’s not pregnancy, it’s early onset menopause at 37. FML

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No! Noooo!

Anonymous - 18/12/2015 01:59 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML

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Xandar - 09/11/2018 17:30

Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML

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Yeet it time

Anonymous - 27/07/2021 12:59 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I got fired for not being mature enough. I just found out I’m pregnant. FML

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Cost of living crisis

Anonymous - 19/04/2024 05:00

Today, it's only been two months since my daughter has owned her home and now she wants to move back to my house because she lost her job and can’t afford the mortgage, plus she got pregnant off a one-night stand and needs my help with the baby. Bang goes my plans for a quiet retirement. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Sunday 6 March 2022 16:08

Is it because you need the money, or just an excuse to get the hell out of the house?

cacheson 41

Sunday 6 March 2022 16:36

Probably both!

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 6 March 2022 16:08

Is it because you need the money, or just an excuse to get the hell out of the house?

cacheson 41

Sunday 6 March 2022 16:36

Probably both!

Hangryko 31

Sunday 6 March 2022 18:52

My condolences.

D J's MOM 17

Monday 7 March 2022 12:35

wow, she's sneaky! at her age, she knows how her body and cycle works. time for a serious discussion

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my roommate admitted he spent his half of the rent money on a tattoo. It's all good though, we're just gonna get evicted. FML

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Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

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Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

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Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

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Today, I started my first training day using an MRI machine and completely forgot to remove my nipple piercings before I went in. I've never experienced a pain so vile and lingering in my life. FML

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Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML

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