Animals, Kids, Poopoo peepee Gross Spray it - FML

Spray it

GoldenShower - 25/06/2009 10:17 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my son squirting liquid on me from a bottle. We have a high deer population in our area, so I spray urine contained in black bottle on my plants to help deter the deer from eating them. I also water my flowers with water from a blue bottle. My son used the black one. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

pist - 13/05/2018 01:30

Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML

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Poor little thing

Yikes - 10/07/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML

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richkief76 - 10/05/2011 02:34

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

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Taking the piss

kafreen - 30/08/2016 19:35 - United States - Tucson

Today, I arrived at work early. I noticed the plants on the side of my classroom could use some water so I went out to do so. On the way, I found a beer can. Not wanting the kids to see it, I picked it up but some spilled on my dress. I quickly noticed a familiar smell. No, not beer. Urine. FML

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Choose your moments

jcesom - - United States

Today, my father taught my son to pee on the trees outside. We went to the mall later and my son decided to practice what he'd learned on a potted plant. FML

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Poor little dude

One mad mother - 06/04/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, as a joke, my husband filled my son's airtight water bottle with seltzer water before we went to kindergarten. The top blew off when he tried to drink, hitting him in the nose and spraying him with cold water. FML

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grrrr - 08/02/2010 00:35 - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

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Chemistry

Anonymous - 31/03/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

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Anonymous - 06/01/2014 19:13 - United States - Lexington

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

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Thanks babe...

okaykk - 05/09/2018 13:00

Today, after having hardly any sleep the whole weekend, I was woken up at 3:30 am by the sound of running water. I opened my eyes to find my fiancé peeing in my favorite water bottle. FML

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Zuriel45 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 20:39

good news is the deer won't be taking any bites out of you.

coldplaylive2003 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 20:44

Whose pee was is?

A_LiST3RR 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 5:56

damn kiddss!

dman5 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 0:32

it's ur fault for leaving the bottle in reach of ur children

dannyparrish1211 3

Thursday 9 December 2010 19:14

shos urine is in the bottle

lacrossegirl775 0

Friday 5 August 2011 5:27

You actually pee in that bottle..?

music87 14

Thursday 25 August 2011 22:33

Looks like its time to find elsewhere to keep the black bottle of pee.

fuzzybear14 0

Friday 27 January 2012 0:02

to water the plants?

alkaid 14

Friday 22 June 2012 13:05

Oh deer :/

jrock9093 18

Sunday 15 September 2013 9:19

Sorry that sucks good fml kids will be kids

bungholemcgee 11

Saturday 5 October 2013 22:21

you deserve it for spraying urine on those innocent plants

karacakal2 30

Monday 21 December 2015 13:38

I bet it pissed you off

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML

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Today, I accidentally got pregnant by my boyfriend of three years and now I’m 4 months pregnant, single and we don’t even talk anymore. The best part is that he doesn’t believe I’m pregnant, nor that it’s his. FML

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Today, I came back to my appartment to find that I couldn't watch certain channels on my tv. When I called the tv company I found out my parents had put a 'parental block' on all my favorite channels. Im 22 and rent an appartment with my friends. FML

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Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

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Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

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Today, I went to court because I got a traffic ticket for running a red light. While I was in court, I found out it was actually for a car I had sold years ago. FML

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