Health Sorry, little dude

Sorry, little dude

dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

39 117

3 663

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

48 719

4 841

Freakout

DisgustingCreatures - 04/08/2016 18:53 - United States - Houston

Today, I was peacefully using the toilet when I heard a familiar crunching sound behind me. After shooting up and frantically looking around, I hesitantly closed the toilet lid - just in time to see a black cockroach slip into a crevice of the toilet. The thing was close enough to go up my butt. FML

13 628

1 176

Anonymous - 21/12/2013 21:50 - United States - Wexford

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

39 026

8 729

no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

52 989

4 787

Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

48 792

6 766

Cringe

mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

57 504

4 816

Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

58 292

4 601

lingadoo - 07/12/2012 05:46 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

32 084

4 859

Sarah-grace - 17/05/2016 22:20 - United States - Benton

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

10 823

1 517

buys case of Listerine

Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

4 968

368

SSJ5Goku 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 23:08

...Which would you prefer?

TripleJumpMan 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 23:08

what the hell

jluperrizzle 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 2:23

OOOOH MY GODDD THAT IS SOOO GROSSS I just got shivers so bad, lmao watch what you eat, there bud

wellinever 5

Tuesday 19 January 2010 10:41

You're worried that a cockroach was in the bowl watching you take a dump? I doubt it was turned on by the experience.

ozymandias_fml 0

Tuesday 19 January 2010 18:17

YDi for being such a flithy freaking slob that you have cockroaches.

ikealove 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 1:29

im guessing it got there after since it wouldn't be able to survive your stomach acids.

TheRedPhantom 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 23:23

you are my hero

bostrom 0

Wednesday 14 April 2010 5:34

Op you have yourself a peeping roach infestation!!!! Dun dun dun!!! :]

melonsmasherrr 0

Sunday 25 April 2010 2:25

I think it was there after...

fixxxers01_fml 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 2:28

to the disbelievers, it could be possible that the roach was larval and protected in meat. it was obviously bad food from the night before so it didnt spend much time in the stomache, grew in the intestines and was shat lookin like a roach....just sayin.