Sex Intimacy Set the scene

Set the scene

Fire0fisis - 23/05/2012 09:38 - Hong Kong

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

rindawg - 20/01/2009 03:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

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duckwater - 01/03/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

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fledermausi - 12/06/2012 13:02 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

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gimmeasalad - 21/04/2012 06:01 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

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fishruinsex - 08/12/2010 08:46

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

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Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

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Downhill from here

forewhatnow - 07/11/2009 08:47 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

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Sea legs

have it your way - 29/04/2014 19:13 - United States - Rochester

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

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Loverman

dating a manchild - 01/06/2012 23:50 - Denmark - Hellerup

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

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Like in the movies

alltern8ive - - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

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tylerbro 3

Wednesday 23 May 2012 16:18

Did the boat chum before he did?

Rapide100 6

Wednesday 23 May 2012 16:15

You do know there's nothing wrong with just having sex ON the boat...

HerrBawl 4

Wednesday 23 May 2012 18:30

It's like a Virgin Bloody Mary. Ducking close to (bloody) water.

HerrBawl 4

Wednesday 23 May 2012 18:34

Well, I'm not sure if that was my fault or the sites, but the D should be an F.

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 23 May 2012 22:01

It's like an American beer. ******* close to water.

bigbadtim 7

Wednesday 23 May 2012 18:36

Sex and sushi, great combo.

rayofsunahine25 4

Wednesday 23 May 2012 18:47

why would you do that when theres a perfectly good boat. who knows what's in the water

MerrikBarbarian 9

Wednesday 23 May 2012 19:17

Well I suppose points for being able to not lose the boat and not drown while having sex in water... Now if you could just gain some look out skills for approaching boats (which should be a cue to stop anyways) you'd have the trifecta.

jesinuevo 3

Wednesday 23 May 2012 19:47

Grossssss!!! U guy r disgusting! Next time have sex ON the boat?

Linkerdoodles 15

Thursday 24 May 2012 3:57

Next time use proper English?

marid_fml 2

Wednesday 23 May 2012 20:06

The boat probably chummed *because* the fisherman saw you in the water. I'd be pissed if there were two self-centered mammals fornicating in my favorite fishing grounds and scaring off all the fish, too.

megansays 2

Wednesday 23 May 2012 20:24

That's disgusting..... Sex in open water I mean. I mean, fish chum is gross, but I imagine you're having relations in nasty contaminated lake water...

sexylivibieber 0

Wednesday 23 May 2012 21:02

Oh wow! That's sexy! Just kidding! Yeah next time you should do it ON the boat or on the beach... In the water... By fishing boats... Not romantic... AT ALL!