Awkward, Airplanes Intimacy Security check

Security check

Kammy - 01/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no liquids rule. They took out a bottle of massage oil, lube, Vagisil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Jamaica? I hardly know her

Anonymous - 07/10/2015 10:58 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

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Pissy - 27/11/2016 20:15

Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML

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Anonymous - 23/03/2013 15:21 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

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thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

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Mom Jokes FTW

Embarrassed Daughter - 18/07/2017 08:26 - United States - Erlanger

Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML

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notthatkinkyanyway - 13/11/2011 12:46 - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

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Ya - 10/05/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

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ohgodwhy - 10/05/2019 12:00

Today, me, my boyfriend and his family stayed at an AirBnB while on a trip. While I was doing my makeup, my boyfriend told me he was going to take a shower. A few minutes later, I went in the bathroom to shave my legs thinking my boyfriend was in there, but his dad was in the shower, scrubbing his ass. FML

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Enjoy yourself, I guess

Anonymous - 15/02/2017 01:00 - Spain - Las Palmas

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML

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Thanks, son

sucksforme. - 10/05/2009 05:05 - Canada

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

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RawrSpoon 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:35

How do you forget about the no liquids rule? Last time I was in an airport, they have a sign reminding you every twenty feet or so.

oneangredwarf 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:38

why would you put that stuff in your carry on?

Lucicx0 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 0:14

1. LMAO i thought the same thing about capitilizing 'tropical' 2. Blame terrorist hijackers for this whole thing

themanistheman 0

Friday 6 March 2009 8:25

you forgot the little airplane size bottle of liquor.

amilapazzo 0

Friday 6 March 2009 18:01

My question is: Why would you include the combination of lube and vagisil?

inzillah 0

Friday 6 March 2009 23:00

Yeah, exactly: Vagisil and lube?!? This seems like something fake written by a guy who has no idea what Vagisil actually is. If this was written by a woman, you're gross. Why not wait to get over your nasty yeast infection before you try to bang a guy with his family around?

maiden_girl 5

Friday 13 March 2009 13:00

If you used Nair prior, you wouldn't need it depending on how long you were on vacation. Doesn't Nair last 2 weeks?

LoveToSmile101 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 16:03

Wow that must have been embarrasing. But why did you need Nair in your carry-on your required to leave it on for about 10 minutes or so. I understand Vagasil but lube wtf where you gonna do with that on a plane.. Lol.. yeah the lube was probably the most embarrasing..FYL indeed

SublatePandemic 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 3:40

Um... are you going to be having sex with your bf on the plane? Why do you need that stuff in your CARRY ON?!

boner_93 2

Thursday 30 July 2009 22:45

YDI for being an idiot and forgetting the no liquids rule. also, what the f*** do you need any of that crap in your carry-on for?!?!

dvs01 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 5:56

Stop being so sensitive about that shit. Big deal, people knowing that you have a sex life and like to keep your hair neat ruins your life? It's your own mentality that's ruining your life.