Intimacy Pussy power - FML

Pussy power

Anonymous - 25/02/2013 17:57 - Canada - Fernie

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Flooftastic

Anonymous - 26/05/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML

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Ugggggggggg - 06/11/2012 05:11 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

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helpme - 15/07/2013 17:25 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

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Nickolas - 31/12/2010 05:58 - United States

Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML

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waxer150 - 22/03/2015 22:32 - United States - Ashtabula

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

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coolcat10156 - 08/07/2015 07:04 - United States - Keller

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

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Waxing pubical

Anonymous - 10/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was waxing my legs and somehow dropped an enormous dollop of hot wax on my naked crotch. I refused to yank it off, but still had to cut it off with scissors. So now I have a huge patch of pubic hair way shorter than the rest of it. It looks a right mess FML

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Anonymous - 18/04/2012 19:18 - United Kingdom - Eynsham

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

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Beauty standards

Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

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iliku - 01/06/2019 02:00

Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML

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zingline89 18

Monday 25 February 2013 23:15

Thank you, OP, for making a pussy reference in the FML. It spared us from a half a dozen bad ones in the comments.

SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18

Monday 25 February 2013 23:10

Full or Brazillian?

greatdanen 6

Tuesday 26 February 2013 7:34

LOL, I'd love to see a picture of that... I mean your pussy... I mean your ****... CAT

nvo 6

Tuesday 26 February 2013 7:59

Poor cat

mayley 16

Tuesday 26 February 2013 8:00

Ha ... I see what you did there!

Satoaoi 13

Tuesday 26 February 2013 9:50

have mercy

rightspark 7

Tuesday 26 February 2013 10:44

Use a razor next time so the pussy won't get involved

dlas 5

Tuesday 26 February 2013 16:23

Muhahahahaha Nice job did he like it

379_fml 11

Wednesday 27 February 2013 5:10

When you wanna ditch the fiancé and cat let me know

cabrowneyes04 4

Wednesday 27 February 2013 9:21

I feel like saying animal cruelty but the irony is just SOOOOO funny!! Lol

iB_fml 8

Wednesday 27 February 2013 20:07

Lmao!! I'm sorry, but this totally cracked me up! Poor cat tho, I'm kinda imagining it looks a bit like the one in Austin Powers now

FMYLIFEFF 3

Wednesday 27 February 2013 21:51

Hahahahahahah

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my dad wants a divorce. I can either stay with my wine-loving mom or move 300 km away with my dad. FML

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Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML

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Today, my fling with a local waiter ended. I'm studying for a professional designation exam, I make $130k/year, and I have a lake house in the mountains. He smokes pot in his mom's basement, has been arrested for stealing, has totaled 3 cars, and would rather collect unemployment than work. He dumped me. FML

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Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML

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Today, my son, who has ASD, told a woman how gigantic her butt was. While trying to remind him that some things are not nice to say, he screamed that her butt is the "giantest butt ever," like it was an accomplishment. FML

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Today, I asked my husband to talk and he got the most tired and “Here we go again” look and then asked what he’d done wrong this time. Apparently, I get mad at him so often that now every time we talk, he immediately assumes he did something wrong. I think I’m a horrible wife. FML

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