Love, Kids, Pranks Parents Protective

Protective

Anonymous - 26/12/2012 18:30 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

sierraisfucked - 02/06/2009 07:55 - United States

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

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MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

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What the…?

Anonymous - 05/02/2024 05:00

Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML

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Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

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blah - 21/07/2011 14:10 - United States

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

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Denial

Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

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Anonymous - 18/09/2010 14:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

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geeb - 23/02/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

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KayKay - 23/09/2016 06:33 - United States - Ware

Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML

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Anonymous - 23/11/2016 16:58

Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML

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redhedsaysrawr 18

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:10

Troll mom is winning

Harpy20 24

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:10

Twat swat level: EXPERT.

Synthesiate 7

Monday 21 January 2013 7:34

**** her mom, seriously how rude

elizacandle 29

Friday 31 May 2013 0:25

Award for Cockblocker of the year goes to....!

Jebitesevsi 11

Wednesday 22 January 2014 13:32

The woman just didn't want to end up taking care of yet another kid.

MatthewWelch15 3

Saturday 4 July 2015 0:24

Say u dont know the kid drop him on the floor and kick ur mom in the face

Host2phats 21

Tuesday 8 December 2015 9:21

MOM BURN!!! DAYUM

lilithfury 23

Sunday 13 March 2016 3:15

Wow. What a bitch.

Tyrax 16

Tuesday 23 August 2016 2:44

I hope she thought he was sketchy. Otherwise, bitch move.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

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Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML

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Today, my husband’s dream has always been to have a big family. I however cannot physically or mentally handle having any more. He’s now threatening to hire a surrogate to continue pumping out babies for him. We already have 8. FML

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Today, my husband and I were going over costume ideas for his company’s Halloween party. I suggested to be Ariel the Little Mermaid. He scoffed, “Wow, not only are they changing her race but her body type too?” FML

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Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML

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Today, my mom called to tell me that I needed to clean the side of her couch. Why? Because someone picked their nose and wiped snot all on the side of it. She thinks it was me because I sat there last. It wasn't me. I don't even live there, but I have two teenage siblings that blame everything on me. FML

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