Pregnancy, Parents Miscellaneous Probably not - FML

Probably not

Michael tee - - United States

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

mannydanny - 01/09/2011 23:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

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verycre8tive - 21/05/2009 07:31 - Romania

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

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nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

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TKPhai - 05/04/2015 03:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

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Alex - 20/06/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

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Steve.mc - 01/05/2011 07:03 - Canada

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

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Anonymous - 12/12/2010 21:55 - United States

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

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sexybelly - 26/03/2015 08:35 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

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Anonymous - 14/08/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

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Chubby life

- 10/02/2020 18:00

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

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vballcutie08 6

Friday 12 August 2011 1:03

I've never been brave enough to ask, I was afraid I'd get an answer like this one..

bellakaykid 6

Friday 12 August 2011 1:03

Yes, that counts.

badactor009 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 23:13

Most of us are here because some guy was horny. It is that simple.

Danij101 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 9:10

well they planned the party so I think it counts

loserman67 35

Wednesday 17 August 2011 18:00

OMG - that is exactly how our son was born... we were getting ready for a party, had a couple of drinks during the process - she was looking pretty hot, so about 20 minutes before the guests arrived I pushed her down onto the couch in the family room and screwed her brains out - 9 months later our son arrived!

denverman92 0

Saturday 24 September 2011 3:53

I'm sorry it's sounds like you were and accident but a really fun one at least

stupidisntcute 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 8:41

What does it matter if you are planned or not?? Seriously? Stop worrying about how or why you got here, be grateful you have family who love you, some people don't have that! Just check the orphanage! (sp)

Rake 17

Sunday 4 May 2025 7:23

I don't understand the big deal, Sometimes things happen, sometimes you plan. It doesn't mean they love you any less.

lacedab 8

Thursday 8 May 2025 7:14

Anyone else think FML is recycling their underrated post?? I swear I read this exact one years ago..

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my son tried to go viral by livestreaming himself walking down our busy street while talking to his "chat", while my other son came up and lamped him with a punch to the side of the head, pretending to be a stranger, or a "hater". I hate this streaming shit, but I never thought I'd raised clout chasing morons. FML

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Today, my now ex-fiancé walked out on me on our wedding day. He decided his best female friend, whom he constantly told me not to worry about while we were together, is his "soulmate." Both of them ran away together to god knows where, while I stood there humiliated in front of our family and friends. FML

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Today, I've been loyal to my wife for almost 25 years then I randomly bumped into my high school sweetheart, sparks flew like when we were teenagers, and less than an hour later we were having sex in her car. I feel like such scum. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

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Today, I let my 5 year old play on my tablet while we were both using one of those family restrooms with two toilets. She took a selfie showing both on us on the toilet and sent it to my husband. FML.

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Today, I made some popcorn. Returning to the kitchen a couple of minutes later, I realized I was supposed to put a cover on the saucepan. FML

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Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

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