Thief Money Prehistoric

Prehistoric

and she blames me -_- - 13/10/2013 21:50 - Canada - Calgary

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

kelsjenks - 27/07/2011 13:50 - Canada

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

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jarrettsorko - 23/08/2011 16:38 - Canada

Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML

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Scumbag

Anonymous - 07/01/2015 16:29 - Sri Lanka

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

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Messy

Anonymous - 11/06/2025 00:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML

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Anonymous - 17/09/2013 17:23 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

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TheComputerGuy96 - 22/05/2010 07:56 - Italy

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

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Sarah - 17/08/2012 07:45 - Canada - Penhold

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

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stop thief - 26/06/2014 15:11 - United States - Aurora

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

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Crime scene

xTRYSOFTx - 07/03/2020 03:00 - United States

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

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Anonymous - 18/01/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He'd left, leaving the door kicked in. FML

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Peachy2392 26

Monday 14 October 2013 2:08

Ass-bandit?

Kamon97 23

Monday 14 October 2013 2:08

That bastard how else are you gonna watch Disney tapes now? :(

Mimi12589_fml 10

Monday 14 October 2013 7:27

Yeahhh yeahhh... You REALLY wanted to get rid of that VHS player didn't you ? Except it'd look more true to your wife if the window was actually broken .. We get it.. Come on you're in a safe place, admit it .. ;)

itsnina 11

Monday 14 October 2013 7:36

That must be shattering!

Martnikk 15

Monday 14 October 2013 8:01

How is he supposed to know that

realjojo 11

Monday 14 October 2013 9:46

Sir, we highly suspect it was an inside job...

pdp_fml 21

Monday 14 October 2013 11:25

It must have been an amateur thief. A professional would have tried the front door because he or she would not want to leave evidence of a break in. Sorry for the broken window.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Monday 14 October 2013 11:51

Always listen to your wife OP :)

Thi3fstheme 9

Monday 14 October 2013 14:20

Your wife plotted it all in order to get rid of it.

name_to_the_user 1

Monday 14 October 2013 17:08

it was your wife

anyoldnamewilldo 23

Monday 14 October 2013 20:07

If you meant "ass bandit" in the way that it is most used, as in "homosexual", you are most assuredly mistaken. No self-respecting gay I know would EVER be caught in the possession of a VCR in this day and age. Just saying.