Poopoo peepee Kids Pissed

Pissed

holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

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Unpleasant

Anonymous - 13/05/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML

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Best clapback

wetbutt - - United States

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

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smells like ass - 29/12/2016 03:05

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

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Right in the nuts

Anonymous - 01/06/2021 06:01

Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML

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smellsofeggs - 26/11/2009 21:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

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Freeloadin' freewheelin'

Anonymous - 26/02/2022 04:00

Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML

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Creepy

jeeperspeepers - 02/08/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

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Kutakito - 15/04/2013 20:18 - Sweden - Saltsj?baden

Today, my 25 year-old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

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GaveAnInchTakeAMile - 11/05/2013 09:52 - United States

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

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i_got_it 0

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:31

Imagine what he would've did if you said **** off.

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 22 October 2009 1:38

He's got good aim. You should've done the same thing. Have like, a fight via streams to see whose stream is mightier.

ladiesmanlol 0

Friday 23 October 2009 22:17

next time tell him to go **** a dog then jump off a roof

Ellowise_fml 0

Monday 26 October 2009 21:45

Be careful what you wish for ;)

dangletsbang21 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 3:52

he totally pwned your ass or should I say your lap, hahah that was lame. you should get him back :)

wasted0087 0

Monday 15 February 2010 20:25

Hey... at least he can aim real well.

pohkerfayce 0

Saturday 31 July 2010 2:31

if you told him to **** off..

splarf1991 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 8:54

only MTI's get to say that!!!

dreamforwarhol 2

Sunday 31 July 2011 7:03

atleast hes clever about his revenge

Trent_21 6

Wednesday 10 August 2011 4:10

OWNED!

Zelda210 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 16:20

Looks like urine trouble....

helpfulperson 9

Friday 19 October 2012 8:15

Brother: Challenge Accepted

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML

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Today, I found out that my "I don't care about boy problems" friend decided it would be a great idea to talk to my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend about me. My ex was the one who told me. He thought I'd asked my friend to do it. FML

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Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to the next level. While putting my hand under her skirt, I feel something out of place. I look at her and she says, “What? You prefer ladies?” FML

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Today, my husband came home and sat in his car out front for fifteen minutes. I went and knocked on the door, asking what he was doing. Apparently, I always dump so much shit on him the second he walks in the door that he needs a little peace between work and coming home to me. Ungrateful ass. FML

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Today, I offered to help out at my grandpa's farm, and he had me load buckets of water into his trunk. When he came by and saw me struggling to lift a bucket, he sneered, called me a moron for filling it up before putting it in the truck, and told me to just go home. FML

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Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

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