Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML 495 92
Today, I was sitting in a train when the old lady sitting next to me started staring at me. I asked her if she was OK, and she exclaimed, "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?" The entire train trip went like this. FML 25 161 2 028
Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML 27 095 2 216
Today, my daughter thinks the way to save money is to stop taking her antidepressants, because they give her “uncontrollable” food cravings. FML 623 116
Today, I smiled at a new kid and started a conversation with him, just to be nice. He later sent me 24 messages describing how strong his love for me is. I'm scared to go to school tomorrow. FML 35 112 3 754
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML 421 52