Love, Awkward Parents Parental advice - FML

Parental advice

Anonymous - 07/11/2023 06:00

Today, I was going on my first date. I was planning my outfit with my mom when my dad offered his advice. “That boy won’t care what outfit you’re wearing, just make sure you wear sexy underwear and carry a condom, guaranteed first date success. That’s how me and your mom got married, you know?” FML

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Anonymous - 28/05/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML

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fridgemylifee - 13/08/2015 17:39 - United States

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

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Anonymous - 03/01/2012 05:32 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

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Overprotected - 19/06/2013 14:39 - United States

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

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Mammy's boy

Anonymous - 14/04/2023 22:00

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML

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anonymous - 24/10/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML

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Date night

shelteredchild - 20/03/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I got the courage to ask my mom if I could go to the movies alone on my first date with my new boyfriend. She said OK, which was surprising because she never lets me go anywhere alone. When I got to the theatre with him I saw my mom. She had saved seats for us. FML

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mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

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Crafty

Anonymous - 07/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

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pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

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BurnInDemonFire 35

Tuesday 7 November 2023 17:00

Is your mom's name Sunday Morning?

Yudith 25

Tuesday 7 November 2023 18:05

And then Mom proceeded to change Dad's whole wardrobe to match the quality of his underwear.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Tuesday 7 November 2023 17:00

Is your mom's name Sunday Morning?

Yudith 25

Tuesday 7 November 2023 18:05

And then Mom proceeded to change Dad's whole wardrobe to match the quality of his underwear.

Wadlaen 23

Tuesday 7 November 2023 23:32

It's always good to get advice from people who knows what they're talking about!

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Today, an arm fell off my only glasses. Problem is I can’t fix it, since I can barely see without actually wearing them. Tomorrow, I’ll be getting around with one-armed glasses until I find someone who isn’t half blind and can tighten a tiny screw. FML

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Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me for a girl he's barely known for 3 weeks. FML

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Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

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Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

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Today, I found that I have a rare side effect to the hydrocodone prescribed after surgery. One pill keeps me up for almost 24 hours. Either I'm in tremendous pain and try to sleep, or I'm not in much pain and stay awake. I can't win. FML

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Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

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