Bad hair day

Tony -

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

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Meritocracy

blue - - United States

Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you'll be labeled as someone with a short temper. However, the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML

26 972

3 230

  

Welcome back

pixie_pix13 -

Today, I came back to work after being out for a week. As I walked to the back of the store, I threw my hands up and yelled, "I'm back bitches". Right after I said it, I noticed my boss was behind me. I was then taken to the office and wrote up for foul language on my first day back. FML

1 069

3 453

  

I'm confused

confusedbagel - - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

43 522

4 120

  

Running late

SMV - - France

Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

32 268

6 108

  

Rewind time

supersmashpika - - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

26 689

10 009

  

Dogsbody

tee - - United States - Kansas City

Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML

29 923

2 030

  

There was an attempt…

JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

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2 935

  

Stoner in disguise

Anonymous - - United States - Rowlett

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

19 445

2 943

  

Right back!

Anonymous -

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

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