Healthy Lifestyle, Poopoo peepee Health Ouch

Ouch

sadface - - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Many such cases

clitorasaurus - - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

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Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

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BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

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Where am I?

Anonymous - - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

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Give me strength

wtbfiber - - United States

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

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paulinapo - 28/03/2013 13:52 - United States - Staten Island

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

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Fighting fit

AnonThoughts - 24/10/2019 06:00

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

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092492 - 05/03/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

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Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

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Always wear camo gear

Anonymous - 29/06/2024 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML

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allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 4 January 2010 12:31

most. intense. shit. ever.

Impromptu_fml 0

Monday 4 January 2010 12:22

That'll teach you to build it up. Next time, when nature calls, pick up the phone.

amberceleste 0

Monday 4 January 2010 21:04

jimboom lol wow

Bertha5 0

Monday 4 January 2010 22:44

is this possible?

FD929 0

Monday 4 January 2010 23:24

Thats almost impressive.

danii_s2 0

Monday 4 January 2010 23:36

one word: metamucil.

CitizenSnipz 0

Monday 4 January 2010 23:40

wow, thanks for the paranoia. I'm in the bathroom right now constipated. FYL tho.

suzanabanna 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 0:25

u should know to always stretch b4 u take a dump X]

LifeFucksUsAll 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 0:42

You should know to always have a spell-check before you post.

Ninjaface 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 0:34

That must have been the most epic dump of all time. Did the toilet say uncle?

lwdjaymac 1

Tuesday 5 January 2010 0:36

Best fml ever.

no_mames_vato 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 1:03

what did you eat?

bostonfan 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 1:11

I'm pretty sure pooping does not use any hamstrings so unless you pulled a hamstring sitting down/up, bs

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

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Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

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Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating on him, all because I shaved my legs on a Wednesday. FML

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Today, I'm on crutches due to hip surgery. I went to the fridge to grab a bite to eat, but quickly realized if I wanted anything, I would have to eat there. I can't carry anything. Cold leftovers here we go. FML

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Today, I asked my girlfriend to prom. Instead of saying yes, she broke up with me. FML

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Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

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