... Yike. I am never going to put myself in a position to wear one of those, then...

When all else fails just do the safety dance. In fact let's all do the safety dance. :D *Grabs doc, gets punched, kicked repeatedly by everyone else. Et tu noor?

This is an FML but NOT for the OP.

I don't' know whether anyone else is getting this but the context-aware adverts on this page are displaying a range of attractive safety harnesses for me to purchase. Somehow I don't think they'll get many orders from those who have just read this FML!

A man across the street from me died from not having a correct setup while cutting a tree in his yard. It was not fun trying to comfort his 10 year old daughter who just saw her dead father in a tree.

Did your school ever show you the STD videos in sex ed class? One guys penis looks like a head of cauliflower....not sure what disease turns your junk into a vegetable though...warts? Gah

Ouchies

Ouuuuuuccccchhhhh musta hurt

I am 100% sure the OP will never wear a safety harness incorrectly, nor will any of the men in that class. This may be "shock tactics" but it's more effective than just a vague warning tag on the harness.

I used to work in a bakery, and saw the head baker accidentaly walk into the corner of a table and sever his man parts! Who knew life could be so hazardous to our man parts :S