Morning Coffee Not a morning person - FML

Not a morning person

Anonymous - 03/02/2022 18:01

Today, I went to make coffee, but having just woken up, I forgot the paper filter. You can guess what was in my coffee… FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Slow down

Anonymous - 17/07/2024 09:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I woke up late for work. In my rush to make a quick cup of coffee, I forgot to put a mug under the machine. I came back a few minutes later to a kitchen counter flooded with coffee and had to clean it up, making me even later. To top it off, I was out of coffee. FML

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cullenthegreat - 25/08/2016 16:26 - United States - Villanova

Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML

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WAKE UP IT'S MONDAY MORNING!

Anonymous - 02/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was running late for work so I grabbed my coffee to go. I was rushing down the stairs when I stumbled a bit and spilled the entire cup of coffee all over myself. I had to go back up, change clothes, and was still late. The kicker? It was decaf. FML

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lucas_urev - 15/09/2014 22:19 - United States - Cold Spring Harbor

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

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Monday Monday…

Anonymous - 04/12/2023 12:00

Today, I used my new French Press to make my morning coffee. Turns out, I pressed too hard, and the entire press disassembled, turning my morning into a caffeinated crime scene. FML

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For science

Rach - 26/10/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

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Rushed

K.Trinity - 15/06/2024 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML

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Great start

Anonymous - 27/03/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I was rushing to get to work on time and grabbed what I thought was my coffee mug. It wasn't until I was in the car that I realized I had grabbed my husband's urinalysis cup. Not quite the morning boost I was expecting. FML

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Automaton

Anonymous - 01/02/2023 14:00

Today, I had to admit that my coffee addiction is really bad when I woke up in a Starbucks with no memory of how I got there. FML

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Are you OK?

FUCKING IDIOT - 09/11/2023 04:00

Today, my boyfriend yet again bought paper towels instead of toilet paper. I screamed myself hoarse at him, and told him to go get some toilet paper before I killed us both. He came back with coffee filters. FML

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Marcella1016 31

Thursday 3 February 2022 21:07

Looking forward to RichardPencil’s guesses. In his absence, here’s mine: - Wet coffee - Hot lava - An unedited Instagram photo (#NoFilter, #WokeUpLikeThis) - Clouds Do I win?!

RichardPencil 30

Friday 4 February 2022 2:44

1. Gravel 2. The perfect Wordle start word. 3. Immaculate Tea Must. Win.

Marcella1016 31

Thursday 3 February 2022 21:07

Looking forward to RichardPencil’s guesses. In his absence, here’s mine: - Wet coffee - Hot lava - An unedited Instagram photo (#NoFilter, #WokeUpLikeThis) - Clouds Do I win?!

RichardPencil 30

Friday 4 February 2022 2:44

1. Gravel 2. The perfect Wordle start word. 3. Immaculate Tea Must. Win.

metroido 17

Friday 4 February 2022 6:30

Uh, no I can’t? But I am incredibly stupid so there’s that.,,

Yudith 25

Saturday 5 February 2022 3:02

Good thing you can still use the coffee filter to filter the coffee grounds out of your coffee.

Anon2000 12

Sunday 6 February 2022 3:57

Erm, unfiltered coffee?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I “caught” my partner looking at porn, again. I walked in on him with his cock out, looking at his phone. He jumped to put it away, except just like last time, I told him we could watch together, but he's “too ashamed” to even discuss it. At this point I’m pretty sure he’s just sexting someone else and doesn’t want to get caught. FML

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Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML

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Today, my dad found condoms in my room and kicked me out of the house. I know I’m 22 but I have nowhere to go. When I told him this, he threw a rolling suitcase at me and told me, “You have somewhere to go now - your boyfriend’s house!” I don’t even have a boyfriend, just casual random hookups. FML

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Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML

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Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

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Today, my wife insisted we try anal until we “got it right”. Well, she complained through the whole thing, wouldn’t let me quit, blamed me when I inevitably did orgasm and she didn’t, and then moaned about how it stings and needing a shower. I don’t even like anal, it’s not my thing at all. FML

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