Intimacy Noobs

Noobs

Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

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Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

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Lost

Alicia - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

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Noob

lameows - 04/04/2015 01:57 - United States

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

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Bad sex ed

Sex ed instructor, fuck me - 18/04/2022 06:00

Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML

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Absolute beginners

dancerr2210 - 09/06/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

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ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

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Follow the script

ufhdafuhds - 19/03/2009 23:31 - Egypt

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

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Giggle loop

Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

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Mr Floppy

rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

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Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

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jimmyrules 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:06

Lol I'm pretty sure it's not that hard.

immja 0

Friday 13 August 2010 9:08

@2 that may have been the problem.. hah

lawlatyourfml 0

Friday 13 August 2010 10:28

FAIL. jesus christ you are the ****** captian of the fail boat holy shit you just suck at life. its really not that hard, unless that was your issue.

vivr 0

Friday 13 August 2010 10:31

I find it funny and interesting how arguments start on these comments. haha I feel bad for you two. might as well go **** yourself. againn

applessuckdick 0

Friday 13 August 2010 10:31

and that's why your name has ***** in it.

Twigggy 0

Friday 13 August 2010 10:35

the only word that can describe this is "fail" but kudos for you made me lul

Raleigh_bruh 7

Friday 13 August 2010 10:36

#151 - And your name has dick in it, sooo... :/

_PAK_G96Unit_ 0

Friday 13 August 2010 10:40

I moderated this [:

chuchurocket 4

Friday 13 August 2010 10:40

68 wins

wriptidez 0

Friday 13 August 2010 10:50

sex is for marriage

dotDotMyCurve 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 7:22

not even

Kanvis78 0

Friday 13 August 2010 10:51

i find it hard to believe all the chicks here commenting look like their pics! op- after marriage try some wine or something to relax then it wont be complicated!