Animals Intimacy Nature is healing

Nature is healing

squirrels69ing - 22/05/2011 01:00 - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Oh hey how are you?

Shelly - 13/06/2011 02:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

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Psycho

Anonymous - 12/10/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

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Road rage

notapetkiller - 26/07/2016 06:12 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog who had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML

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Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

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Anonymous - 29/03/2013 17:13 - United States - Lakeland

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

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Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

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Make it stop, please

Anonymous - 27/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML

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Cute

eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

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Traumatized

Anonymous - 09/09/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

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ZZ - 30/06/2009 03:01 - Canada

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

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jewknowit710 2

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:19

some one is jealous that they arent getting any action... lol

aleclikestacos 8

Sunday 22 May 2011 9:19

you should have honked to save them from getting hit by another car and also to save you time.

DaniBee420 6

Thursday 26 May 2011 8:54

that's hilarious!

krisna_fml 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 11:31

don't worry. That was great job...

rugbygirlcarly 0

Friday 27 May 2011 0:43

Squirrel sex lasts only about 30seconds, I'm calling this fml into question

dummayy 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 1:41

haha..damn sucks for you! you had to witness what you can't get lol : ,/

DonZilla_RAWR 6

Saturday 28 May 2011 4:40

Lol, my boyfriend HATES squirrels considering they "Threw acorns at him". Though, this DOES remind me of the time I went to a museum and there was a penguin exhibit. When I went to see it, the penguins were "getting it in" and the whole time my friend was shooting it on his phone. -.-" The thought of it alone is just too disturbing to tolerate -.-"