Injury Intimacy Nasty

Nasty

Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

45 553

5 898

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Traumatized knob

Anonymous - 10/03/2015 19:11

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

41 038

4 623

southernluxe - 04/09/2011 09:36 - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

41 982

10 673

JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

54 129

6 462

Frustrated wank

Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

624

330

Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

47 006

18 692

anonymous - 02/11/2015 03:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

28 350

7 541

She's electric

nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

28 518

5 327

Nosebleed

bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

2 216

258

Anonymous - 25/10/2014 01:32 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML

36 602

5 554

Congrats

Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

44 847

8 605

AsainChick 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 15:56

You shoul probably get that checked out...

saIty 17

Tuesday 30 August 2011 15:58

That's when you know your pleaser is giving 120%.

bugluvr 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:29

Dangg that sucks lol

sagax06 1

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:34

that....seems interesting....

sugarbaby9908 20

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:34

That's where the phrase "spit on it" comes into play

lolvickylol 2

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:38

dude! are you okay! go get that checked out bro

music_lover_15 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:44

That is a turn off I'm so sorry

yantz 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:46

Lube that shit up,

ikry33 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:49

umm that's..... bad .___.

theFullmonty1394 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 6:13

...well did you keep going? Blood makes a tasty and effective lube...

bitchslapped22 14

Wednesday 31 August 2011 6:26

lol whaaa?

portcaveman 5

Wednesday 31 August 2011 6:59

lawl

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

37 862

6 028

Today, I had to put my cat to sleep after she was in an accident. While I was crying hysterically, the vet asked me for $230. FML

1 909

314

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me, because she's found someone "better" than me. FML

51 506

4 352

Today, my roommate and I received a non-payment notice from our landlord, over a dishonored check that was used to pay the rent. I give my roommate money for my share and she handles the checks. Apparently, her trip to Puerto Rico was more important than paying rent. FML

1 585

188

Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML

30 934

63 134

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

36 270

2 956