Parents, Dad jokes, Argument Kids Mystery

Mystery

Waheyyy - - United Kingdom

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

confsused - 16/12/2013 17:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

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He's got game

Anonymous - - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

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Sneaky

Anonymous - - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

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bbbeast - 28/07/2009 02:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

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Slippery when wet

blewidstepr -

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

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Foreshadowing

JB. - - United States - Somerset

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

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Yada yada yade

Anonymous - - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

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Devious

rachel - - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

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Trauma for life

he's still not convinced - - United States

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

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Very funny, Mom

ThanksMa - - Canada

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML

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Anonanimal 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:05

he's just trying to bug you. you wouldn't believe the things my parents have said to me in arguements xD

Suckylicious 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:06

my dad says im adopted all the time. i think im his kid. i just dont care that much!

Stpatch754 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:13

omg!! tht is genius, when i hav kids i am so using that against them, i admire your dad/fake dad!

element01 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 18:30

Thats pretty funny. I will be doing that to my kid one day.

elchapin562 0

Friday 11 September 2009 4:49

your dad's funny, i would crack up if my dad told me that haha

El_loco1988 0

Monday 14 September 2009 17:24

That sucks dude ur pops is ******

memeweaver 0

Wednesday 23 September 2009 15:46

Ok...Now that was funny, I don't care who you are.

Makaloraii 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 21:21

Instead of 'geriatric fool', you should have said 'senile *****'.

terriibabiiix23 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 3:09

first of all, what the hell is a geriatric fool ? second, that wasn't really cool of your dad to say thatt..

BinkyMom 0

Monday 8 February 2010 3:28

Sad, but hilarious...

zimbry 0

Friday 13 August 2010 4:52

sucks fer you op.

TheZarola 10

Wednesday 29 September 2010 22:45

YDI for disrespecting your father like that.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while I was wearing a blue coat, a coworker asked me what color my coat was. Confused, I said, “...blue?” He and my other coworkers burst out screaming with laughter. Turns out he didn’t say ‘coat’ but ‘poop’. I work with a bunch of five year-olds. FML

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Today, I called 911 and got taken to hospital via ambulance after a suicide attempt. When I called my mom, the first thing she asked was, "How much is the ambulance going to cost?" FML

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Today, I got up early because I had a bunch of work to do. It's now 11:50 p.m and I still haven't managed to get anything done. FML

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Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

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Today, an officer ticketed me for texting while driving. Apparently, getting dumped costs $180. FML

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Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

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