Work MVP - FML

MVP

Killmenow - - United Kingdom

Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing, and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

dibman - 07/01/2011 09:11 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML

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The Dilbert Principle

Anonymous - 14/06/2017 16:00

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

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Anonymous - 07/05/2014 20:57 - India - Kundan

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

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lolgarbl - 26/02/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML

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JEalmon12 - 23/05/2019 12:00

Today, I was bored at my office, so I started flicking my pencils at my door. My boss walked in right then to give me a raise for my "outstanding" work. She scared me so much when she walked in that I flicked a pencil right at her face. FML

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fuckmyplums - 07/02/2014 23:47 - Austria - Grossarl

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

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crapules - 23/12/2008 04:18 - France

Today, my boss asked me, "Can I give you some constructive criticism?" I said yes. He told me, "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

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fabiennemorin35 - 30/08/2016 09:29 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my boss told me that he’d hired me because he thought I looked intelligent. He then went on to say that it was about time that I proved that I was. FML

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Slackers

Anonymous - 17/02/2016 21:36 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML

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Wage slave

Janet - - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

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Rayn4u_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 18:28

If sharpening pencils is a greater responsibility, what were you doing before?

i_love_fml_11 0

Friday 31 July 2009 21:01

so what? pencils need sharpening and you got to have a couple minutes where you could do something easy lol

redcan3 5

Saturday 10 December 2011 6:32

Just because he asked you a faver dosn't mean that's the only more responsibly he'll give you.

reaxion 25

Monday 24 June 2013 4:58

I would have kindly asked the boss if I could sharpen the pencils in his ass, because that's where he can shove the job.

Fitzinator1995 13

Tuesday 15 October 2013 8:25

don't be hating on the power of the pencil!

garamo 4

Monday 30 June 2025 20:51

He asked you to sharpen HIS pencil if you know what he means!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, a coworker just came back from being ill and getting chemotherapy for a month and a half. I saw her bald head. I’d never seen her like that before. The astonishment disabled my verbal filter and I blurted out, "Jada Pinkett-Smith." Let’s just say besides this FML, I’m also submitting online resumes. FML

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Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

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Today, I found out that college stressed me out so much that my stomach acid now eats holes in my stomach wall. I went from, “Oh, I have a tummy ache” to “You can’t eat or drink for 24 hours because we gotta do surgery on a perforated ulcer.” FML

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Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML

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Today, I read my university's newsletter. Apparently we're starting up a "buddy" system for international students. I'm signing up, because this will help me complete my goal of making my first friend at university. FML

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Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML

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